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One thing stoners love to do in legalization arguments is compare weed to alcohol. One of the main problems with alcohol is drunk driving, and many stoners believe that it is less dangerous to drive high, than drunk. In fact, many of us believe we are more cautious when high. I suffer very little impairment when high, unless I’m just stoned out of my gourd, but I will say that people should not be driving while high. Though it may be less dangerous than alcohol, and probably is, you are still not 100%, and that is dangerous, considering most of you have a hard time staying in your own damn lane while sober.

That said, driving while baked is probably the most awesome experience you will ever have, given the right conditions. It’s everything that’s great about weed all in one moving package. If you have a luxury car, or something sporty but still comfortable, just relaxing in the car is great in and of itself. Cool air, comfortable seats, and interesting things to look at.

The wonderful thing about cars is that they are so multi-dimensional you never get bored with them. Pop in your favorite stoner music, and crank up the stereo. This peaceful night out just turned into a jam session. It’s especially nice if you have a good sound system, particularly one with some nice subs. The vibrations feel amazing on the high body, and it’s like getting a really loud massage. Mine actually has a DVD player, and while making it 200% more dangerous, watching music videos while driving around is probably the coolest thing you can ask for.

If you’re like me, you need a little adrenaline rush for the day to be worthwhile. Weaving in and out of traffic like an ass is a great way to achieve this. Please note that while I do weave in and out of traffic, I’m not insane about it, and I never do anything I think I don’t have a 100% chance of completing. Also, if you have a fast car, just accelerating is unbelievably fun, and substantially safer than weaving through traffic.

Finally, cars are really good at taking you places. Unless it’s 5 pm, you can probably have food within about 5 minutes of getting into your car. And the most important thing when you’re stoned is sustenance.

Yep, cars are pretty much the bee’s knees. Driving high is fun as hell, and the fact that you can be entertained pretty much constantly is a definite plus. Road trips with tons of weed, though, I can’t recommend doing something so reckless if you don’t want to go to prison, are extremely fun. Keep an eye out for the 5-0, and happy driving.

—Lotus

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Seriously, guys: don’t do this shit or you’ll probably die. Leave your comments below.

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At least my bowl gets roasted every time I exert a minimum of effort to roll the striking wheel on my Bic.

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In response to the Bic essay:

As a frequent marijuana user for the last few years and daily smoker for the last two, I have dealt with my share of lighters. There are many different styles, ranging from the common flint and butane, to the more expensive and more personal Zippo, and finally the expensive torch lighters which can cost up to and well over $100. With such an overwhelming amount of lighters, some people just give up and pick the cheapest and most popular of them, but this may not be the best choice.

If pot smoking is your thing, a Zippo probably isn’t. They are too expensive, and unless you smoke blunts and joints every single time, a Zippo wont be very appropriate most of the time. Sure, it is possible to spark up a bowl with a wick. But why, at 3 am when you’ve been smoking since 7, and those last few shots you took are reacting quite nicely with the vicodin [Editor's note: Try to stay away from drinking while taking drugs containing large amounts of acetaminophen, which is the case with Vicodin. You could die.]. Would you put yourself through that much effort to light your bowl?

No, you need something that is useful in all situations, and this is the torch lighter. These lighters can be very stylish and many are made for exotic car owners to light their cigars with. They can range from the reasonable $40 to the, well, to whatever you can afford. These are enticing they last forever since they’re refillable, they look really cool, nobody else will have one, and you know it’s going to work every single time. Also, you can smoke Salvia with it. [Editor's note: You can also smoke salvia with a regular Bic. I have done it.]

Unfortunately, unless you are the most responsible stoner ever, you will lose it, or someone will steal it. You can have one at the house for personal use, if you never have people over, or if you trust your friends to not drunken or highly put it in their pocket. This is why we can’t have nice things.

So we must settle for the cheap disposable type. To me, if you’re going to cheap out on the lighter, you might as well go as cheap as possible. My lighter of choice? Scripto (the normal sized one, flint strike). I know stoners all over the world are warming up their keyboards to berate me for this, but hear me out.

—I cannot keep a lighter to save my goddamn life. I don’t know if the entire world of pot smokers is out to get me, but I rarely ever come away with extra lighters, and I always lose them. A pack of Bics might last me a week, and I’ll have to go get some more. This doesn’t happen, however, with my Scripto.

—I take one Scripto to a party, I leave with the same Scripto. Nobody wants to steal a Scripto, and at the end of the day when my friends both thought they had red lighters, I know exactly which translucent purple lighter is mine. [Editor's note: before I was enlightened enough to buy bics, I got my Scriptos stolen all the damn time.]

—They are so cheap, how can you afford NOT to try them? Really though, they are cheap. I think an 8 pack costs less than 4 dollars. The last Bic I bought was over 2 dollars. That’s 4 for the price of 1 Bic. If you don’t believe at least 4 out of that package are going to work, anecdotal evidence is against you. In the last few packages at least 5 of the 8 lighters have worked for me. The bad ones weed themselves out early, and the good ones last till the very last drop of delicious butane.

—You can totally make the flame like a foot long.* This sells me on the lighter. If you are a respectable stoner, it would sell you, too.

—Lotus

*I don’t recommend modifying the product to make a larger flame. However, if you do and it doesn’t strike, use a different one to light it with.

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