All the new toys

All right, before I get into anything about this vaporizer, I need to remark on its name. This vape is labeled the Lotus Vaporizer; my favorite car is a Lotus, and I am known as Lotus. If that’s not the best coincidence ever, I don’t know what is. So when I heard that I would be reviewing a vaporizer with that title, I was very excited. I was also immediately aware that this type of bias could negatively affect readers who have no affiliation to the word “lotus,” so I made sure to include a number of neutral participants to provide their own insight. Ok, now let’s jump right in…

First Impressions

To begin with, the Lotus arrived within three days of the order. Our request was placed on the 17th, and the package arrived on the 20th – a turnaround that puts them on par with Amazon, Newegg, and other big name vendors. It was packaged securely in a normal shipping box with a mind for discretion, only displaying an obscure, nondescript “MT” (Mendocino Technologies) logo above their shipping address. For those of you in enlightened, weed-friendly states, that may seem like a fairly trivial remark. However, for those of us still in draconian, backwards societies, it can make all the difference. I was impressed and pleasantly surprised.

Nestled into its home, the stir stick waits for its time to shine

There are a number of different ordering configurations for the Lotus; we acquired the “Combination Pipe and Water Pipe Adapter” kit.  Priced at $132, this includes the vape itself, an aluminum adapter to fit standard bongs, torch lighter, carrying bag, a couple informational pamphlets, and last and probably least the little weed scoop. For an extra five bucks you can throw in the “stir stick,” which is quite possibly one of the most ingenious things I’ve seen on a vape. It’s simply a little metal post you store in the top piece of your vaporizer, used for the necessary process of stirring your bowls. I always just left it in the hole, as I found it best to use the wooden vapor cap as a handle.

Craftsmanship on the Lotus and accoutrements is gorgeous and consistent, each product carrying the same quality in build and style. The vapor cap has that attractive little flower, and all the vent holes, screws, plates and wood housing are clearly built with tight tolerances, quality materials and strict guidelines. Both anodized aluminum stems are lightweight yet sturdy, and the wood/nickel vaporizer cap is sleek and durable. Essentially, everything important is well-built and just feels solid. While I’m sure you could manage to damage the cosmetics, you would be hard pressed to break this thing in any fashion.

Learning Curve

Having been a long-time vaporizer owner and enthusiast, I am pretty well-experienced in the vaping “process.” Still, I find myself having to learn nearly every new vape I pick up. While most people can pick up any random bong, pipe, blunt or joint and get an excellent and consistent hit, each vaporizer seems to have its own personality. The general rule-of-thumb is: let it heat up, inhale slow and steady, hold it in.

Whoever thought you'd see instruction manuals for pipes?

Now, the Lotus is the same concept – not much different than hitting an MFLB or any random whip vape. However, since you’re using a butane torch instead of an electric heating element, it can be a bit tricky to get used to. It took most of my friends about 2-3 tries to get the procedure down, and it took me about 4-5 to figure it out. Mendocino Technologies sends a handy little “how-to” guide, but there are some things you just can’t learn without practice.

We found that gently resting the lighter on the pipe with about a 1/2 inch flame worked most effectively. There’s definitely a sweet spot to find – one that doesn’t get the nickel plate too hot or not hot enough. Once you find it, the Lotus is second to none in vaporizing capability. Needless to say, my lungs are pretty damn conditioned to THC intake – I mean hell, I write for a weed blog. Well, my first successful hit with the Lotus literally had me on the ground in a coughing fit. It is not a tool to be underestimated.

What She Can Do

Lotus provides for a quick, simple, powerful, tasty and efficient vaping process. Unlike similar handheld vapes like the MFLB or Iolite, you won’t need to wait for heating elements to start up, or guess when they’re warm enough. And unlike the Vapor Genie, you won’t be inhaling products of imperfect combustion from a Bic or equivalent lighter like soot, unburned butane, etc. I’ve heard ignited butane is harmless, but it certainly affects the flavor and texture of your hits, which is where the Lotus truly shines.

We had the luxury of trying both the standard pipe and water pipe options. I was initially expecting the bong-attachment to be more of a novelty, and that the standard version was the real meat-and-potatoes. Little did I know – the bong adapter is actually quite impressive, and provides for a remarkable smoking experience. Since you’re vaporizing, the hits are easy to stop, and no weed is wasted at all. And of course – it being a bong and all – you can take massive hits of highly potent vapor. Truly the best of both worlds.

Equally impressive was the standard pipe, which provided us with copious amounts of smooth, unadulterated vapor. It’s simple enough to use, and easily provides the largest and most efficient hits of any portable vaporizer I’ve ever used. Hands down. It related more to my old Da Buddha, the more popular SSV and even the Volcano in terms of hit size and consistency than any of its portable competitors. Where these electric desktop vapes win out is ease of use and bowl size. Even though using a lighter is easy, it’s not easier than turning a knob or pressing a button. And the Lotus’ bowl is fairly small, only allowing enough room for about 3 average, or 2 generous hits.

Cold air intake!

Personally, I think the bottom-located intake vents are absolute genius. They provide fresh, untainted hits that are much cooler and more pure than anything you can get with direct flame. And it’s done with the precision and user-input only achievable with a lighter. Without buying an expensive desktop vaporizer, you’re simply not going to find an accurate, adjustable heating element. And unlike what manufacturers might lead you to believe, every type of weed does not vaporize under the same conditions. Control over the temperature in a vaporizer is paramount if you want to get the most effective and efficient use out of it.

It remains to be seen how durable the Lotus will be with long-term use, but if today’s rigorous testing was any indication, it will age with dignity. They advertise as being an all-American product: designed, manufactured and sold in the United States. The quality on every level was truly phenomenal, and you can tell this is a device with some serious R&D behind it. Everything was considered. It doesn’t get too hot to handle, it has good indicators to let you know how your hit is going, it (potentially) has a built-in stir stick (!), and every piece is made of highly durable, highly attractive materials.

On top of all of that, Mendocino Technologies even stands confidently behind their product, granting a 3 year warranty on the piece. Long enough to be useful, but short enough that you can reasonably expect them to still exist.

Too Good to be True?

Extremely portable, reasonably priced, high-quality and efficient – the Lotus seems like something out of a stoner’s fantasy. I’m a very cynical person in general, and I’m usually quick to point out the flaws in… well everything. With the Lotus I am genuinely at a loss. They seem to have taken care of everything, and the minor complaints and issues I have are more due to physics itself than anything design-related.

Ready for use. This is actually a bit overfilled.

Perhaps the only real complaint I have is the limitation on bowl size. Simply by nature of being a portable vape, you’ll never get it to store a large quantity of weed. This makes it slightly unwieldy for use in a group, or with low-quality bud. We were consistently getting at least 3 big hits out of it per bowl, which was about enough to get one (high tolerance) user very well stoned. After each hit you’ll want to stir it up a bit to ensure even vaping, making the stir stick a good investment for any prospective owner.

Beyond that, the anodizing does show scratching and other blemishes fairly easily. With a few years of abuse, a heavy user will easily transform the stylish appearance of the Lotus into a battle-scarred workhorse. The good news about that is the vape will actually be around to see those days. Most glass pieces or electronic vapes will die out or break, while the Lotus will continue to dutifully stimulate your cannabinoid receptors for years to come. There is only one piece on the vape I would be concerned about, which is the nickel heating plate. It’s fairly thin, and since it’s getting direct flame from a butane torch, it’ll be suffering a lot of torture over time. Only time will tell the nickel will hold up, but in any case it would be a cheap repair.

In Comparison

I’m active on a lot of different drug-related message boards, and one of the most popular devices on the internet is the Magic Flight Launch Box. It seems to generate unwavering support wherever you happen to look, and has taken on a reputation for being highly praised and adored. If you’re unfamiliar with the MFLB, it’s a simple wooden electronic vape that runs on battery. It is very small, and is made to be a highly portable and concealable device.

My opinion is that the MFLB is an overhyped, overpriced fad, and a massive number of people have fallen prey to excellent grassroots marketing campaigns. It is inconsistent, the glass is easily scratched, the battery runs out quick and the device just feels cheap and cheesy. Plus, on a portable vape, I prefer a self-contained device. With the MFLB you must store the battery holster separate from the device during transport, or you run the risk of heating up your pipe unwittingly. Perhaps the only upside to that vape is the generous lifetime warranty that the manufacturer offers. I wonder, though, how long that manufacturer will actually last… Anyway, all of this would be absolutely fine and excusable, if the pipe were priced appropriately – say $30-50 or so. At its current retail of $120, however, it is a complete ripoff.

Iolite’s version of a portable electronic vape is another product that suffers from a case of overinflated price tag. I actually liked the Iolite in my experience with it; it produced clean, consistent hits every time. Those hits were fairly small, but at least you knew what you were getting. Battery life is acceptable, design seems sturdy enough (for plastic anyway), and it seems to heat up at a reasonable rate. But the retail on an I-o is $200! That is completely unacceptable for what you’re getting with that piece.

Another popular pipe I was severely disappointed with is the Vapor Genie. It didn’t ever want to give me solid hits, and the amount of butane flavor nearly made me gag. It’s priced a bit more appropriately ($55) than its competitors, but it still seems a bit much. Beyond that, it seems to be made of pressure-treated wood, which is very hazardous to your health if it gets too hot, is touched too much, or contacts acidic things. Honestly, I don’t think it holds a candle to the Lotus, but as the only “lighter fueled” portable vape in direct competition, I felt it necessary to include for our purposes.

I’ll save some time here: the Lotus wins on all fronts, except ease of use. Torching the nickel plate seems a bit harder than it initially sounds, and definitely takes a little finesse. Electronic vapes are nice in that regard, but the trade-off of unpredictable or insufficient heat really detracts from the current contenders performance. The Iolite doesn’t seem to provide quite enough heat to be efficient, and the MFLB was all over the place during my time with it. As simple as the concept of a Vapor Genie seems, the lighter never heated up my product enough to enjoy it. To be quite honest, at some point I eventually just took out the bud in frustration and stuck it in a more capable vaporizer.

She's a pretty one

As far as cost goes, I genuinely think the Lotus is at a realistic, appropriate price point. You’re paying for some serious quality here, and not just in the materials. MT has clearly spent lots of time meticulously poring over every detail of their product. It looks like you might expect an Apple product to look – trendy, tightly toleranced, and capable. On top of that, it is truly an innovative concept. And despite the stylish looks, it still performs like a purpose-built machine. There are facets to this pipe I’ve never seen done before by anyone, including the built-in stir stick, the cold-air intake and the heating plate.

Beyond that, for nearly the same price as an MFLB, you can get the Lotus pipe, the water pipe adapter, the custom-designed lighter, the carrying case and the weed scoop. Compare that to just the MFLB, a couple batteries, and a battery charger, and you can see why I think the MFLB is considerably overpriced. Of course, you wouldn’t even be 3/4 of the way towards an Iolite, if you went hog wild and got every possible accoutrement and upgrade available on a Lotus. And the Lotus pipe itself is only $100 without a kit, so it’s in the same ballpark as a Vapor Genie.

Final Thoughts

I’ve been thinking for a long while about what I’d change on the Lotus if I had the chance. After a good amount of consideration, there are only really two things I’d modify. First, I’d permanently affix the stir stick in its wooden home on the vapor cap. In fact, I think I’ll probably do that on my own piece, as I’m absolutely positive it will get hopelessly lost if I don’t. My other alteration would be a widening of the bowl. I’m not sure how that would affect the ergonomics of the piece, but it seems like it could be conceivably done. With a slightly bigger bowl, there’s not a pipe in the world that could stand up to the Lotus.

My recommendation if you’re considering the Lotus is to buy the $132 combo pipe and water pipe, and throw in the custom-fit stir stick for $5. The standard price of the Lotus itself is $100 – that means for less than $40 you’ll have the added capability to vape with a bong, you’ll be provided your own custom-fit torch lighter, you’ll be able to stir up your bowls with a fitted stir stick, and you can store your products conveniently in one bag. Everything in the kit is purpose-built for your pipe, and nothing seems frivolous or gimmicky. One factor I can’t help you with is color choice, as I was heavily torn between the three options. The all-black, turquoise and natural wood finishes all look equally excellent.

If you hadn’t noticed, I really like this piece. Hell, I love this thing. If you’re in the market for a portable vaporizer, you would be a fool not to consider the Lotus. The fact that it requires a torch lighter does mean a slight drawback for inconspicuous public use, but it provides significant benefits over its element-driven counterparts. If stealth is your one and only concern, the Lotus may not be the right choice for you. But if your only goal is to acquire the best portable tool for the job, I think I have just the thing for you…

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If either SOPA or PIPA pass, dark times will lie ahead for the drug enthusiasts of America. We will no longer have access to the resources that have helped make us responsible and safety-conscious drug users.

Us stoners have a reputation of being so-called “slacktivists” – only complaining about problems without taking any action or offering up solutions. So let’s change that image! Go here: http://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml and tell your representative to vote against SOPA and PIPA as hard as they can. Remind them that as their constituent, they are working for you, more than they’re working for any lobby group or PAC.

Update: It looks like something happened! Google has reported 4.5 million signatures on their petition to stop SOPA/PIPA, and millions of others have signed at Avaaz, Fight for the Future, and the White House petition sites. An impressive number of websites blacked out their content, or publicly protested yesterday. Wikipedia, Craigslist, Mozilla Firefox, Reddit, Wired, Cracked, Ars Technica and Google (and a long list of 10,000 less prominent sites) went completely black yesterday, or joined the virtual rebellion by posting up messages and selectively censoring their sites.

In the most satisfying news, it would also appear that at least 10 senators have withdrawn support for SOPA. Three House Reps who initially co-sponsored the bill have backed out, weakening support at the very base. Politicians from all walks of life, including republicans from the deep South, withdrew their support. It may have taken the entire internet rising up, but it proves that – if nothing else – they aren’t completely bought out just yet.

Lotus

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Believe me when I say I’ve tried every damn one of these suggestions. Now, with hundreds of dollars worth of DMT wasted, I know how to do it: vaporization.

First off, you do not want the DMT to reach a burning point. So that immediately rules out the “bed of weed” and (especially) the torch lighter scenarios. This will produce absolutely nothing of value, unless you happen to value the inhalation of burnt, useless chemicals. DMT smoke is reminiscent of burning car tires mixed with a bit of plastic and a perhaps a dash of nutmeg. It is not pleasant.

A slightly more valid, but still terrible variation on the “bed of weed” concept is slowly melting the DMT into the weed, then gently igniting the DMT-infused weed. You still end up burning most of the product, but I managed to accidentally produce useful vapors every time. Perhaps you could perfect the technique with practice, but you probably wouldn’t want to. It makes your pipe taste like DMT for weeks (or until you clean it), and there are much easier and more efficient ways to achieve the DMT high.

I heard some acquaintances go on and on about the expensive attachment they acquired for their bong, and after using it I just don’t see the point. For one, you are absolutely losing significant amounts of DMT through that water, since the ultimate goal is trying to make the stuff into a vapor. During my attempt, for the amount used the effects were extremely minimal and disappointing. But after using the spirit molecule I didn’t have the heart to tell my DMT providing friends their money was wasted.

Truth is, there’s no possible way to successfully smoke DMT – that was a doomed experiment. But the good news is that you can vaporize the stuff to great results. If you wanted, you could use your fancy marijuana vape to utilize dimitri. I would not particularly recommend it, unless you have a spare bowl, whip and/or bag to use it with. Anything the vapor touches will be tainted with the smell. When I use a vaporizer for weed, I am savoring the pure, unadulterated flavor that the vaporizer grants me. Therefore, avoid vaporizing DMT in your vape. But if you were wondering, you want to get the stuff to about 155˚ Fahrenheit (or 70˚ Celsius).

My tried and trusted method that never fails is the crack pipe. Or “eucalyptus inhaler,” as you might call it at the glass store. A very basic pipe will do just fine, and will likely cost less than $10 at your favorite head shop. If you’re trying to be resourceful, you can just make a lightbulb vape. I tried making “the machine” out of a bottle, but it was such a waste of efforts. As a note, unlike the bong attachments, DMT-specific pipes are not a scam. They are usually overpriced, but it’s admittedly neat to smoke out of a trippy pipe when doing “the spice.”

Vaporizing DMT is not the most heroic method, as that title rests with oral administration. The most common format any average user will orally administer DMT is within an ayahuasca brew. The recipe for ayahuasca includes taking an MAOI-containing vine and combining it with a DMT-source, traditionally an Amazonian tree. DMT is inactive orally on its own, but the cunning Columbian natives somehow figured out mixing this specific tree with those specific vines can turn into a spiritual activity.

If you want, you can even perform a variation on the brew with similar materials, the specific vines and plants are not entirely important. Keep in mind that different plants will contain varying levels of psychoactives, and different alkaloids/harmaloids. Basically, changing the plants will mean changing the recipe. You’ll want to note how much % of your material is DMT or MAOI, and adjust as needed.

Ayahuasca brews can produce one of the most intense and overwhelming psychedelic and spiritual experiences known to man. It is an extremely long and strenuous process, both physically and mentally. Experiences can take well over 8 hours, and involve fierce bouts of vomiting (described as purging), and intense spiritual revelations. If you are intrigued by that description, be warned that MAOIs can be harmful if you are not careful. Please be sure to educate yourself on the dietary restrictions and various substances you’ll want to avoid. Otherwise you might die or something.

LOTUS

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Even completely clean individuals break a sweat inside the testing office… Hell, we’ve all seen the Seinfeld episode where Elaine fails a drug test due to eating poppy seeds. It isn’t the most likely false positive scenario, but it is entirely possible. There are countless reasons why you might fail a drug test when no drugs have ever been ingested.

Americans should know their rights and when to exercise them, including (most importantly) those who are doing nothing wrong. If you’re on the wrong end of the justice system, the best-intentioned, most honorable man can be a victim. In this same vein, we should be well-versed in the capabilities and limitations of drug tests.

Jump to:
The Drug Tests
Hair Tests
Urinalysis
Substitution
Dilution
Speed Metabolism
Waiting it Out
Lab Tested
Myths
What You’ll Take
False Positives
“Test Proof” Drugs
The Drug Tests (a brief overview)

• Hair Test – Can test back for years, depending on hair length – Generally tested back 90 days – Very accurate – Very difficult (if not impossible) to beat – Second most common test (though a distant second)
• Urine Test (urinalysis) – Can test back to varying degrees for different drugs, maximum of two months – Fairly simple to beat, depending on drug – Accuracy wildly ranges depending on type of urinalysis – Most common drug test by far
• Blood Test – Only detects drugs from the last few days or so at most – Impossible to beat – Extremely accurate – Rare, though they are seeing more use in suspected DWI cases
• Saliva Test – Only detects drugs used in that last 24 hours, in most cases – Impossible to beat – Not very reliable – Most logical solution for future marijuana “drugged driving” charges – Not used extensively in America today
• Sweat Test – Not really even worth mentioning except for novelty – Hardly ever used, unreliable, expensive, silly

You are now familiar with the tests. I am not a teacher who believes in standardized testing, so I’ll simply take it on good faith that you’ve understood this much so far. As you can see, only two of the tests are used with any consistency, and coincidentally they are the only two that can be cheated.

The hair test suggestions will be brief. The only guaranteed pass you’ll have is by removing all hair, including body and facial hair. Any hair they can find is fair game. About an inch and a half will get them enough material to determine what drugs you’ve used in the past 90 days. Since your hair acts as a timeline of your drug use, this metric will stay consistent throughout the length (ie-each extra .5 inches will always equal about a month).

Limited success has been had by users who attempt to bleach their hair, or wash it with certain chemicals. One of the problems associated with testing is that the subjects rarely, if ever, see their results. So, a company could in fact hire a potential employee in spite of a failed drug test. Therefore, it is unwise to accept the experiences of people passing employment or probation tests. Too many variables.

Soapbox aside, about all you can do is shave or pray. Fortunately for most, hair tests are not used in pre- or current-employment testing in the vast majority of situations. However, I have personally come across them, so I know they do exist. Occasionally they’ll be used by extremely strict probation officers or courtrooms, but that is an occurrence even rarer than in the private sector.

Urinalysis is a much more exciting topic; the tests are more common, and they can be fooled. The sheer number of different urine tests – all varying significantly in price and consistency – makes for a complex situation. It’s such a tangled mess of confusion, most stressed-out test takers have no concept of where to begin. Let’s begin at the types of urine tests in practice today:

• Gas Chromatography/Mass Spectrometry (GC/MS)
• Enzyme Multiplied Immunoassay Technique (EMIT)
• Radio ImmunoAssay (RIA)
• Test Cup

“Whoa, what the hell are those names and how am I supposed to know what’s going on? Also, test cup!”

Let’s be honest, nobody really cares what the names of the tests are, we all just want to pass them, right? The majority of the time, you’ll have little idea exactly what type of test you’ll be getting. Websites can be found that contain lists of employers who drug test and the types of tests they administer. But I’ve found they’re often outdated and, frankly, wrong.

The test cup (or test strip) is the most common option in the urinalysis family. This test has soared in popularity in recent years due to its relative consistency, ability to be sent in for lab-confirmation, and low price point. The concept is extremely simple, and thus is pretty damn easy to pass. If you were to heat tap water to 98˚, you could possibly fool this one. Some of them do check for concentrations of creatine or uric acid, but they are fairly rare. Most of time they only check for temperature and drugs.

If sent to a lab, your urine will be tested for everything under the sun, including verification that it is urine. Companies do not check gender of submitted samples. It is prohibitively expensive, and would serve little to no purpose. As long as it is human urine, it will do just fine.

Most Common Tests:

• 5 panel test – THC – Opiates – Methamphetamine – Amphetamine – Cocaine
• 9 panel test – THC – Opiates – Methamphetamine – Amphetamine – Cocaine – Barbiturates – Benzodiazepines – Morphine – PCP
• 11 panel test – THC – Opiates – Methamphetamine – Amphetamine – Cocaine – Barbiturates – Benzodiazepines – Methadone – PCP – Oxycodone – MDMA

You can find tests of any random number of panels, but these are the most common types of preliminary urine tests you will receive. The 5 panel is the cheapest and normally used by over-bearing parents and the like. Most corporate tests or probation offices will use the 9 panel, though the 11 panel does appear occasionally. In most cases if you pass one of those, they won’t bother you any longer.

Only substitution can provide the absolute guarantee. That is, take someone else’s pee and put it in the jar. It may seem like a daunting suggestion at first, but as long as you don’t try a sitcom-esque scheme it is definitely doable. In fact, the most difficult part of the exercise is finding a clean donor.
Facts/methods of substitution

• Condoms or 5 Hour Energy bottles are your friend – The first step at acquiring your clean urine is to stow it away somehow. A condom carries the concern of breakage, but has the added benefit of being puncturable to provide a convincing stream for nosy probation officers. If concealment is not a concern, the 5 Hour Energy (or other small, thin container) will be ideal.
• Temp must be in the range of 96-99˚F – The best way to ensure this is a portable hand warmer. Put your urine container in the warmer, and measure the temperature with a thermometer before pouring it into the cup. Another option is to simply keep the container in a warm area on the body. Armpits or other hot areas like genitalia will serve the purpose.
• Urine can stay “good” for months – If left to its own devices, your urine will expire in a room within a few hours. Refrigerated, the lifespan jumps to a maximum of 30 days. If frozen, it can last up to a year! Simply unfreeze when you need it, warm it up, and you’re ready to confidently walk into any testing center.
• Synthetic urine does work – Do your research on this, some of them are scams. But some are legitimate, and if you struggle to find a willing, clean donor, they can be a life-saver. Make sure to verify you are getting the most up-to-date option, as tests are constantly fighting an uphill battle against synthetic companies.

If substitution is not an option, you’re not completely out of luck. The recommended backup will not (contrary to popular belief) involve buying a “get clean” kit from your local head shop. These are all scams, and most of the time they do nothing but add some basic stuff like B12 or creatine, both of which could be bought without paying absurd markup.

The second option, in fact, is as simple as drinking water. If you drink a good amount of water the night before, the drug metabolites in the urine will be saturated in much more water than they normally would. And since drug tests measure concentrations of these, it can effectively be used as a cheating technique. With anything, you don’t want to go overboard. To begin with, too much water can kill you. Beyond that, many tests have screenings for certain acids in the urine that will also be diluted by water.

Therefore, if you are too successful in your dilution, they may throw out your test, and make you retake it. This could be good or bad, but if nothing else it gives you a few more days to get clean. An option to counter over-dilution possibilities is to take the aforementioned creatine or B12 supplements. Many individuals drink enough water so that their urine is nearly clear, as that is the natural color of healthy urine. So stick by your story that you drink lots of water, and there shouldn’t be much of a problem.

It is also recommended that you do not use the first pee of the day, and that you take a sample from mid-stream. The reason being; when you sleep lots of junk is released by your body for expulsion the next morning. This means there’s a higher concentration of the stuff that can get you in trouble after you just wake up. By taking the test on your second or third urination of the day, you’re helping clear out the crap that has accumulated.

A proven yet more time and effort intensive option does exist. If you want to really ensure you’re going to pass this test, and cannot or will not substitute urine, you can help along your body with exercise. Perform a higher-than-normal cardiovascular workout for a week or two prior to the test. This will get your metabolism pumping, so the THC will spend less time relaxing in your fat reserves.

About 3 days before the test you’ll want to stop, and “fatten” yourself up. Pack on serious carbohydrate-heavy dinners, and it will help saturate the “dirty layer.” This is an effective technique for people who will be facing very difficult tests (including military-issued), and need that extra bump to ensure that they will pass. Combined with dilution, a two week break, and this method, even the most stringent tests will be passed. And, more importantly, passed legitimately.

Now, bear in mind, all of the immediately preceding information is THC-specific. Other drug-related metabolites are not processed in this fashion, so the metabolism-boost won’t help as much. Dilution is going to work for anything, however, as it’s just simply adding more of one thing than another.

Wholly legitimate strategies for passing will only entail a process of waiting. Which I think seems rather boring, but then I do have a tendency to take risks… Anyway, there are many handy charts for this on the web, but since you’re here, I’ll give you the basic time-table:

• Weed: urinalysis – 5 weeks, blood – 2 weeks, saliva – 24 hours
• Opiates: urinalysis – 1 week, blood – 24 hours, saliva – 24 hours
• (Meth)Amphetamine: urinalysis – 1 week, blood – 4 days, saliva – 3 days
• Benzodiazepine: urinalysis – 45 days, blood/saliva – unclear (likely 30 days)
• Alcohol: urinalysis – 5 days specialized test (normal test 12 hours), blood/saliva – 24 hours

A more comprehensive list can be found at Erowid, however it is slightly out of date. All of the times listed here are worst-case scenarios, and applicable to chronic users of heavy doses. Abstaining from a drug for the times listed above will ensure 100% beyond any doubt that you will pass your test for that substance. For a single time – or inconsistent – user the detection times will be halved or greater in many cases.

If your sample is sent to a lab it will be inspected with very precise tools. However, these tools are expensive and exhaustible, meaning they are not interested in wasting those valuable resources on everyone’s urine, checking for obscure chemicals they’ve likely never heard of.

Usually, it will only be sent to a lab if you fail the preliminary test. If it’s for pre-employment, they may simply dismiss you altogether, false positive or not. It’s unfair and ridiculous, but that’s corporate America in a nutshell. But if it’s a probation (or any court-related) screening they’ll be – more or less – legally obligated to send it in for verification. At that point, there’s nothing you can do but sit back and wait for your results.

I hate drug test myths, I really do. I used to not really care, and take amusement in the naiveté, but now I’ve seen real harm done because of them. So here are some quick dismissals of urban legends:

• Bleach does not “clear your system,” or clean it, or do anything. Quantities as little as 4 drops can purify an entire gallon of water. That means every harmful bacteria in that water is ensured to be completely mitigated with 4 drops of bleach. Imagine what a teaspoonful could do to the beneficial bacteria in your digestive tract. I heard a person swear by bleach drinking. She was on probation for an entire year, and “passed every time but once” by drinking bleach. I didn’t ask for her method, but I would assume it included lots and lots of water, seeing as her digestive system seems to still be in working order…
• There are no legal repercussions from failing a pre-employment test. If you fail, the only bad news is you’ll not be offered a position. But there will not be any officers knocking on your door (because of the drug test, anyway).
• Tests do not test for gender, age, race, height, menopause, penis size… I believe the same episode of Seinfeld I mentioned earlier perpetuated this myth. Rest assured, males and females can substitute urine for each other to their heart’s content. There is no chance of discovery beyond actually transferring the liquid and keeping it at the correct temperature.
• No those ridiculous “get clean” tests don’t work. I already addressed this briefly, but it bears repeating. Stop paying hard-earned money for this shit; you might as well spend it on weed. Most of the directions have you drinking so much water, you might start to wonder if they’re trying to help you pass or drown you. Truth is, they’re simply taking advantage of stressed-out people, and forcing them to perform dilution before taking credit for the positive result.
• “My cousin passed by hopping on one foot while drinking lime juice from a shot glass and then performing three backflips.” Anecdotal evidence aside, drug tests are notoriously inaccurate. Dirty people pass, clean people fail, and everything in between. It’s not a fair game, and the only winners are those who get lucky. You can do what you can to increase your odds, though, and that’s what this page is all about.

Now that all that is out of my system, let’s move past “how to beat the test.” Most people are unaware what a drug test actually entails, let alone what test they might receive. And with fancy names and acronyms like like GC/MS, Radio ImmunoAssay, and EMIT, good luck taking a guess.

Here’s what test you’ll be taking if:

• Pre-Employment/Promotion- It wholly depends on your employer. I know it seems like a cop out, but it’s true. In most cases, lower paying jobs (like retail employers) will use the most easily fooled type: the test cup/strip. On occasion they are known to use EMIT, but it’s rare, and GC/MS is almost unheard of. You will most likely go into a private stall or bathroom unsupervised to do your business. I have been to one employer who wanted to hair test me, and I’ve heard of some others. It’s a rare practice, but it does occur. In most cases they will not retest if you fail, they simply won’t offer you the job.
• Drug/Alcohol Related Probation- As with anything in the court system it depends on a number of factors. Most probation programs will also use the test cup. If you fail and maintain cleanliness, the same sample will likely be sent to a testing facility for further examination. If you fail that, you have violated your probation terms and your fate lies in the hand of your probation officer or judge. You’ll want to be clean or diluted, as you will normally be watched by a probation officer.
• Serious Probation/Job Incident- I don’t know exactly what test federal probation uses, but I would guess the EMIT. For employer-given tests due to a worker’s comp application or a work-related accident, they will almost always use an EMIT or even GC/MS. In fact, I believe the insurance company requires this, not necessarily the business itself. You will go to a testing facility, and likely enter unsupervised in a private room. Real-substitution or a break from usage plus dilution is recommended, as synthetic can be detected.
• Military The military almost exclusively uses Radio ImmunoAssay (RIA), and you NEED to be clean. You will be closely watched (inspected), and this test is extremely accurate and notoriously difficult to trick. Other high-security-clearance employment positions will also use either this or the GC/MS test.

Many chemicals are known to produce false positives, much to the chagrin of the unsuspecting test subject. Many medications (including over-the-counter) will trip a drug test, as well as some various foods. Some tests have been altered to reduce the number of false positives, but they still exist, and it’s still wise to take measures against them. False positives can even be caused by your own body. For the most part you’ll generally be ok with modern tests, but there are still some substances you’d be smart to avoid in the few days before a test.

• Any cough syrup – DXM or dextromethorphan is an opioid agonist, and it can confuse a test into thinking you have opiate metabolites in your urine.
• Allergy medicine – Anything with pseudoephedrine or any -ephedrine can trip a test for amphetamine or MDMA usage. Best to steer clear of all of them; a runny nose is better than the alternative
• OTC or prescription Stimulants – It should probably go without saying that things like Adderall (amphetamine salts) would trip a test for amphetamine, but now it’s said. No excuses.
• “Legal weed” blends (or synthetic cannabinoids) – Ever since the K2 and Spice craze of 2010, more tests have been including these drugs in their line-up. They will show up under THC.

There are a number of test-proof drugs, including substitutes for almost any known illicit chemical available. The following few should go undetected by any of the lower-end tests like the cup/strip. I have personally had luck with:

• Tramadol – This is an opioid class of drug. It does not release the same metabolites as any other popular opiate/opioid, so it is not tested for. It can be tested for if desired, as can anything.
• Synthetic cannabinoids – But wait, I just said they can trip the tests! Well, there are so many of these, it is nigh on impossible for the drug test developers to cover all the bases. Steer clear of the common chemicals (like the JWH- series), and you might have luck inconspicuously fulfilling your weed need.
• Ketamine – Dissociative. Can be likened to PCP or DXM, but it’s not really close to either of those. Regardless, it does not show up on drug tests.
• Psychedelics – Pick your poison. Not a psychedelic I know of will show up on a drug test. Hell, most of them are out of your system in less than 12 hours.
• Cyclobenzaprine/Carisoprodol – Also known as Soma, relaxes the body and mind. And you can be truly relaxed knowing it won’t be counted against you.

To clarify, all of these drugs CAN technically be tested for, they just simply aren’t. If you are suspected of using one in particular on probation, they can and will send a sample to the lab requesting a test for a specific substance. Be extremely careful with this.

I hope this information is helpful, I have been through the drug screening wringer many, many times. A page like this is what I always tried to find, but never could. I will continue to update this as needed, but if you have any questions or comments don’t hesitate to leave one below, or even e-mail me at lotus@stonerculture.com

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For most people, about a week will suffice to accomplish the majority of the intended task. While cannabis does not entirely leave the system for multiple weeks, a majority of it will be gone in just 7 days. In this time, any residual effects from daily smoking should have passed, and you’ll feel fresh and alert.

*Note for the lazy: scroll to the bottom of the page to check out a handy little quick reference list

Not all, but most smokers report feeling lethargic and their minds somewhat clouded after chronic use of the chronic. I’m not going to pretend to know exactly how the chemicals interact with the complex system of synapses, cells and neurons within the brain. But suffice it to say that with consistent use, you will experience a “stacking effect” of sorts.

If you do not allow your brain sufficient recharge time, cannabinoid receptors will be unable to return to normal between your smokes (or preferred method of ingestion). They become conditioned to the chemical, much like your hands will build callouses after being conditioned to certain activities. This means your baseline will become higher and higher, forcing you to intake more and more of the substance to achieve your desired high. As many have already learned, this can take a hefty toll on the wallet and lungs.

This effect is not permanent, of course, or there would be a static progression of tolerance. This is not the case, and the solution to tolerance is as easy as avoiding cannabis for a short time. As mentioned, a week is the minimum to expel the majority of tolerance. To return entirely to baseline, however, is a much different story.

If you ask any smoker to recall their first experience with marijuana, you’ll likely be treated to a nostalgic recollection of an event not unlike a psychedelic trip. They’ll describe intense physical sensations, time dilation, vibrant closed or open eye visuals, etc. Many of them will also recognize that the experience was never repeated, and that subsequent use simply could not hold a candle to that virgin smoke.

There seems to be a deeper tolerance built up within users, far beyond the simple saturation of receptors. Even taking year-long breaks won’t allow for that visceral experience they had their first few times. So, is it even possible to achieve that experience again?

Yes and no. Taking a hefty break from cannabis will essentially reset your brain, allowing you to experience the full effects of the drug. However, since you’ve already opened those neural pathways in the past, you won’t be breaking into any new territory. So while you might be able to feel the same quality of high, that initial “magic” won’t ever return.

More intense experiences can be had by eating prepared weed, which allows the transformation of THC into a compound approximately 3-5 times stronger than the one produced when smoked. But while a couple of mom’s famous hash brownies might have you on the floor in a psychedelic wonderland, it’s still not exactly the same as that first high. You’ve been conditioned to the subjective effects of the drug, which means that as soon as you are aware you’ve ingested cannabis, your experience will be tainted.

The best you can hope for in a post-doobie noobie world is to reduce your natural tolerance down to zero. This won’t allow you to forget entirely what smoking was like (which would be necessary for a repeat of the first time), but it will allow you get as high as you possibly can right now.

Much disagreement is had on how long, exactly, that waiting period should be. I submit that you should look at the topic something like this:

• 1-4 day break – very minimal difference. If you’re a heavy smoker you’ll likely notice subtle effects, but nothing particularly noteworthy. It will be tantamount to changing strain, if that.
• 5-10 day break – Tangible difference. You’ll notice becoming much higher on a smaller amount of weed. Some of the more nuanced effects will return (temporarily), and you’ll probably stay higher for a considerably longer period of time.
• 20-30 day break – Significant difference. Your physical tolerance is effectively at zero. Since you’ve smoked fairly recently, you’ll still remember most of the effects but they will still be novel and exciting.
• 9-12 month break – Monumental difference. Not only will your physical tolerance have returned to zero long ago, you’ll have forgotten all but most prominent effects of the drug. This will allow you to experience the drug fully, with minimal pre-conceived notions about what will take place.
• Multiple years – I’ve never taken such a break, so I cannot speak on it. It will be as close as you can get to smoking for the first time all over again. Though I’ve heard reports that it’s still just not quite the same…

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Every election season, both parties get caught up in hype, and each time, at least one side is left disappointed. This year, a modestly funded, *ahem* grassroots effort gained arguably more popularity for a cause than anything on the ballot. It clearly wasn’t enough, as 55% of the voting population decided that it wasn’t a worthwhile option for the state of California. And so, the revolution will have to wait a bit longer.

The 19 advocates returned hopeful from the polls, some confident that they would be a part of a new wave of rational drug legislation. But when they checked the outcome, looking upon their computer and TV screens in dismay, it is easy to dismiss the concept altogether. Many may think, ‘this country is beyond hope, the average American is no more capable of rational or logical thinking than the TV that displays their favorite propaganda machine’s rhetoric.’ And this would be a perfectly reasonable mindset, considering the direction the major American media has turned.

However, it is at this time, directly after a bitter defeat, while your opponent is basking in his glory, and you’re still dusting yourself off from a hard-fought uphill battle, that is the most important. And take it from me, someone who refuses to even cast a vote; someone who is so jaundiced by the sad state of affairs we call American politics, that if I even mention politics it is to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Politicians on all sides are in it for nothing more than why you might wake up and sit in a cubicle all day. They are no more interested in what’s “good for America,” as you might be with your own company’s third quarter profits. As long as the company doesn’t go down in flames, whatever makes you more money is the better option. The man with a fistful of money most likely gets your attention more than a man who could use your help on something that benefits you in no tangible way whatsoever. Greed is the most useful trait in the evolution of modern society, and intelligent greed triumphs over all.

Of course, there are the people who legitimately care. People do volunteer at animal shelters, or for various community projects. There are politicians who genuinely look out for what’s “right,” over what’s profitable. Unfortunately, in politics, the only winner is money. If you have no money, you will be absolutely nothing. Many might argue that’s true for America in general, but that’s a topic all its own.

So, why bother voting? That’s the question I’ve asked myself over and over again. With politics, if someone powerful enough really wants something to happen, it will happen. And if someone powerful wants it to not happen, it will not happen. Ballots are forged or lost, money is thrown, and by next week nobody even remembers or cares who Al Gore is. And then four years later, everyone gets all excited, claims that they’ll get more people to the polls, and the same exact thing happens again. Plus, with millions of people involved, the voting process becomes more of a symbolic gesture than a legitimate political tool.

I suggest, don’t vote. Let the country run itself into the ground politically, and leave no trace that you ever even voiced an opinion. Don’t associate yourself with the pitiful condition the country insists on putting itself through over and over. But don’t necessarily give up hope on turning things around. The most important thing in America is the public opinion. And with federal elections hovering around 50-60% since the 70s, the polls don’t necessarily represent the public opinion.

This time in America is the most important of all, for drug legislation reform supporters. You must take this defeat and say, “what did we do that made this ineffective?” I don’t mean what made the vote ineffective, I mean what made the public opinion of marijuana remain ignorant and uninformed. What were the opponents of Proposition 19′s only real arguments? That marijuana shouldn’t be used in the workplace, drugged driving is dangerous, and that marijuana can lead to addiction and use of other drugs (token, “think of the children!” argument).

While these are all excellent concerns, no, they’re actually absolutely ridiculous an blatantly wrong concerns. There have been numerous studies showing that marijuana likely has little to no effect on driving capabilities, and even if they did we already have laws against that so it’s a non-issue to begin with. You are not legally allowed to drive intoxicated in any fashion. Just because you’re not allowed to text in a car doesn’t mean we should outlaw cell phones.

The concept that for no apparent reason people will suddenly show up to work unable to perform their daily tasks due to drug abuse is completely absurd and clearly an argument obtained by simply grasping at straws. It is no more likely that people will be smoking on the job than it is that people will be drinking on the job. People who don’t care about their jobs and don’t value their work will drink or smoke or shoot up heroin at work. This will not be affected by legal concerns.

Finally, the ‘gateway drug’ theory has been addressed and beaten into the ground so many times it’s not even worth more than a light chuckle, but I’ll give it a paragraph. If a magical marijuana gateway (great band name) even exists, it is completely due to the illegal nature of the drug. When a kid hears all his life that smoking a joint is just as bad as using heroin, it’s only logical that he might equate all drugs as equal danger. So, when he finally does smoke one, he may assume the mild effects are shared across the spectrum. If real drug education existed (not just drug-propaganda), teens might realize that heroin, methamphetamines and cocaine are highly addictive and deadly.

Clearly the answer to uninformed citizens is to educate. I think the whole “money” issue will eventually be immaterial here, as there is, in fact, money to be made in America with marijuana. A vast number of corporations are already aware of this, and completely prepared to take advantage of a juicy new market, but wouldn’t risk the negative image of “pot supporting company.” So, when the stigma of marijuana is removed, change will happen. When Obama can say, “I support marijuana reform,” as proudly and confidently as he says, “I support healthcare reform,” marijuana reform will happen. But at this point in time, no politician with any real hope to be elected will ever say that, even if they desperately want it just as much as the biggest stoners in Humboldt.

Now, the time is ripe for the educating. Everyone will have forgotten about showing anti-marijuana ads, and marijuana will be out of the public sight and mind. So what we need is for people to be as active as they possibly can. Take from the Tea Party and make marijuana advocates so loud and obnoxious the country can’t help but listen. Hint about it to your friends and family who aren’t wholly opposed. Bring it up to people who are against it, but in indirect, non-aggressive ways. If your grandpa says, “man I wish Obama and the government would get out of our lives,” say, “yeah I know! I say, if you want to drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes or smoke marijuana in your own house you should be able to. I hate those politically-correct liberals telling me what to do!”

Don’t worry about the politics. The wins will come later on. You wouldn’t win a marathon by practicing sprints right before a race. You consistently work and work and work, and eventually, years later, you might find yourself atop the podium. Only when you can confidently walk up to the starting line, without any concern whatsoever for the competition, will you have successfully trained. And afterwards, you’ll run over to hug the trophy girl, champagne in one hand, joint in the other.

Lotus

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Nobody can fully prepare you for what you’re going to experience on a psychedelic, so you must keep that in mind at all times. Remember that there are risks of permanent mental issues, but they’re fairly low. If your family has a history of schizophrenia, or you believe you have latent mental issues, I would highly discourage the use of any psychoactive drugs (this includes marijuana, psychedelics, etc).

Once you’ve decided that you want to take the step into a psychedelic world, you should always know that you will come back out of it. It can be an overwhelming experience sometimes, but it won’t last more than a few hours, so try not to freak out and think it’ll never end. I’ve personally gone through every type of trip, from the confusing, to the magical, to the hilarious, to the downright terrifying (some of which I’ve documented right here on Stoner Culture). I’ve come out of every single one of them, and usually better than I went in.

Alright, so you’ve accomplished the most difficult part of any psychedelic adventure, and decided you’re going to do it and procured the necessary chemicals. What comes next is totally up to you. I prefer to have a meticulously planned trip, with activities, alternate activities, and things set up for me to avoid any type of involved thinking during the actual trip. I love playing guitar, so having an amp set up and ready to go is a must. Anything else, including recording equipment, art supplies, video games, etc, I prefer to have ready to go before I dose. Some people just like to go where the trip takes them, with no planning. Again, it’s totally up to you.

As far as dosing, it’s difficult to know how much to dose. With LSD, I’ve had single hits that were plenty to handle, and two hits that were fairly underwhelming. I usually start out with one, wait about an hour, and use my judgement as to whether I should re-dose or not. Some people prefer to take it all at once, again it’s totally personal preference.

With LSD, I usually like to take it by sticking it under my tongue for about 5 minutes, then swallowing the material. I don’t think it particularly matters, however, as I’ve swallowed them immediately and tripped just fine. With shrooms, I usually just eat them slowly, breaking them up into pill sizes, then washing them down with water. They taste kind of nutty to me, and even though I’m extremely picky when it comes to foods, I can stomach them no problem. Some people can’t stand the taste, and prefer to grind them into smoothies or some other type of drink to make them easier to go down. Mescaline is difficult, as it comes in such a wide variety of methods. If it’s a pill, just take it. If you’re extracting it, I’d recommend extracting it as much as possible, as the goo tastes absolutely terrible. As far as DXM goes (and some people would even count this in the psychedelic category), I usually prefer the drinkable kind. The pills work fine, too, but when you take a lot of them they all burst and disrupt your stomach more so than the liquid form.

With most psychs it will usually take no less than fifteen minutes, and no more than an hour to kick in. Other extenuating circumstances can drastically affect this time, however. I recently took some acid, then went mountain biking, and it took two hours to fully kick in. My hypothesis is the adrenaline slowed it down, but who knows? Just be patient, and give them a few hours before you fully blow them off as bunk.

During the actual trip, there are many activities that are appropriate, but you should keep in mind that your mind is in a fragile state, and treat it as such. I would avoid any movies or even video games that are overly violent, and probably not watch anything involving serious topics, like news stories (that doesn’t sound any fun, anyway). Any really colorful visually appealing shows should be great fun.

Music is usually indescribable. Get a nice set of headphones, or a nice set of speakers, and blast whatever music you usually enjoy. You’ll find that music is far more spiritual than usual, and it may be difficult to find something you can stick with. I usually like psychedelic rock (go figure), and some choice favorites are Jimi Hendrix, Tool, Pink Floyd, Mars Volta, Led Zeppelin, Radiohead, and the Smashing Pumpkins.

I would fully recommend having a “trip sitter,” someone who you trust, that will be able to keep an eye on your during the trip. Ideally this person will be an experienced tripper, with a fairly laid back attitude, who is excited to help you on your journey. It’s an amazing benefit to have someone to drive you around (something that is highly discouraged to do by yourself while you’re tripping), and generally help keep you grounded in reality. Especially on your first trip, I would suggest having a friend around to help you out. I have tripped alone, and it’s usually just not as fun as tripping with people.

While taking other drugs to supplement the experience, like cannabis, nitrous, MDMA, or DMT can be fun, I would suggest waiting until you are fairly experienced and comfortable with the psychedelics before attempting this.

The final suggestion you should take into consideration is tripping in a comfortable environment. Keep in mind that while tripping in an outdoor setting can be really fun, you’re also usually miles away from a safe place. You don’t want to have a freak out and then require a 45 minute transport to a safe area (as I once did, and wrote about on this site). As far as tripping in public areas (like concerts or movies) I would recommend against it at first, but only you will know whether or not you’re ready. Once you’re tripping you’ll be able to tell whether or not you’re a social butterfly, or you’re like me and you’d rather just sit in a fairly isolated area and jam to your favorite tunes.

Psychedelics are probably my favorite drugs, even if I don’t use them more than a fraction as much as other drugs. They’re absolutely the most intriguing activities I’ve ever been a part of, and they never cease to amaze me. Use them with discretion, don’t overdo it, and you’ll be just fine. If you have a good mindset, and a good place to trip, you should have an incredible experience that you wont soon forget.

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This tasty recipe is the second written for our site by Sassy Not Classy. For those who missed it, here’s the first recipe. Enjoy!

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For my next endeavour, I made a hot lemon sauce to go over a cake, which is very similar to lemon pie filling. The strong lemon flavour really covered up the weedy tasting butter. Lime juice and zest could be substituted to make a lime sauce.

 Step one: Make yourself a cake. I chose angel food since it’s my favourite, but a plain white cake would work too. This is not where the weed comes in.

After the cake has cooled, it’s time to make the sauce. In a small saucepan, combine

• 2/3c sugar
• ¼ fresh lemon juice
• Grated zest of one lemon
• 2 tbsps water

Separate 3 eggs and whisk in the yolks.

Over low heat, stir 1/2c of weed butter into the mixture and bring it to a low simmer. Stirring constantly, cook until the mixture starts to thicken. This takes about a minute.

Immediately pour over a piece of your cake and enjoy! Split the sauce between 3-4 people for a good strong buzz.

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Please comment below if you enjoyed this recipe!

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            Keeping your smoking instruments sanitary and clean is an important action in order to prevent buildup of bacteria, inhalation of ash and chemicals, and poor smoke taste.  If you own a glass piece, keeping it sanitary is easy to do and doesn’t take very long.  The benefit is a safer, better tasting smoke. You will also be instructed in the creation of crystallized pipe resin.

            First, clean out the ash from your pipe, bubbler, or bong immediately after finishing the bowl.  This will allow you to clean the piece and is important even if it will not be cleaned in order to prevent the ash from falling inside.  Nothing is worse than inhaling a hit of ash.
            For most glass pipes, the beauty of the pipe increases with the amount of smoke resin that accumulates on the inside of the pipe.  Thus, many owners of pipes choose not to clean out their pipes, thinking that cleaning it involves removal of that resin.  On the contrary, a good cleaning with running water and occasionally some soap leaves the mostly oil-soluble resin in place while removing bits of ash and whatever was on the lips of the last toker.
            In bongs and bubblers, replacing the water and rinsing out the pipe is essential.  I do this after every use.  Old bongwater not only looks nasty, smells bad, and makes for crappy smoke, it also can build up chemicals from the smoke which could be hazardous to your lungs.  Do yourself and your smoking clan a favor and wash out that bong or bubbler of yours.
            Every once in a while, you may decide to clean your pipe out thoroughly, for a variety of reasons.  One advantage of owning a glass piece it that the resin inside can easily be removed with acetone, also known as nail polish remover.  If that fails, most head shops offer some type of cleaner such as Formula 420.  What many people don’t know is that you can save this resin (assuming you have a solvent which evaporates cleanly). [Editor's note: An alternative here is high-proof isopropyl alcohol and salt. The purpose of the salt is to provide increased agitation and friction as the tar is dissolved and removed by the alcohol.]
            If you wish to remove the resin to smoke it, save the acetone you used to remove the resin in some type of glass dish, such as a pie pan.  Make sure that the acetone evaporates cleanly by letting some unused acetone evaporate off a clean piece of glass.  If any amount of residue is left after evaporating clean acetone, you will need a cleaner solvent.  If the solvent is good, allow the acetone and resin mixture to evaporate in a well-ventilated location.  If you have access to a kitchen, this process can be sped up by pouring the acetone in a pot and applying a moderate amount of heat (NOTE: Do not do this if you cannot ventilate your kitchen sufficiently.  Also, ONLY DO THIS WITH AN ELECTRIC STOVE.  A gas stove + evaporating organic solvent = BIG  EXPLOSION).
            After all the acetone is evaporated off (make sure there is no solvent smell left at all), you should be left with resin crystals, differing in size depending on the heat of evaporation.  Gather them up with a razor blade and store them in paper or foil.  They don’t taste wonderful, but if the resin is accumulated from months of dank smoking, the combination of cannabanoids produces a truly all-around wonderful high.  Make sure you regulate your dosage, because resin can be as potent as hash by weight.
            If you don’t own a glass piece, wise up and go buy one already. A small piece can be obtained for less than $20 and will give you a purer, cleaner smoke.

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