Archive for the ‘How To’ Category

Weed (or other drugs) Causing Anxiety? Not Working Anymore?

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

If you are having panic attacks (or severe anxiety) after smoking weed or while tripping, first understand that it has happened to probably millions of other people, and they’ve all been fine. It has happened to me and many other seasoned veterans. I know people who had a panic attack their first time smoking at 18 years old, and life-time smokers who didn’t have them until well into their 50s. So this is nothing unusual or harmful.

Knitting is very calming, and snakes are so hard to shop for

Knitting is very calming, and snakes are so hard to shop for

However, anxiety attacks can be very scary if they are happening to you or a friend in a high mindset. If you’re freaking out, just relax – take deep breaths and think about something you enjoy. Visualize it in your mind. Sit calmly and find some pleasant distractions – put on some music, watch something light-hearted, even just playing with your pet dog, cat or snake can help. And if you’re really feeling bad just find a quiet place to lie down and chill. If it’s weed it will pass (as all highs do) in less than an hour, often 15 minutes or so. Psychedelics usually last longer, but do know that in a few hours at most, you’re going to be sober.

After you’re greeted with the reassuring grip of sobriety, you will probably be very confused and possibly upset about what happened. This is normal, and expected. If you feel like you never want to smoke weed or trip again, that’s ok (but you probably will again later). For me, the solution was always as simple as just taking a week to a month or two off.

In my worst case scenario, I could return to my normal smoking-self after a 2 month abstention, but admittedly that was after an intense acid trip and a combination of factors. Typically I’ll be back to normal after a week or less. Just a few days off to set the mind right will often do wonders.

Anyway, after you’ve overcome the initial panic and discomfort, consider possible factors that may have led to this change. If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then consider avoiding those variables, or using a lot less in the future:

  • Did you use more than normal?
  • Was it a different strain or strength than you’re used to?
  • Did you smoke in an unfamiliar place (concert, festival, etc)?
  • Did you eat/vape weed when you’re used to smoking?
  • Have you had abnormal or high stress in your life lately?

It is very common for people to eat weed, or to vape weed for the first time and become unexpectedly high. Eating weed can be 2-5x stronger than smoking it, as it is absorbed differently through your body. Vaping is hard to gauge when you’re a newbie, and can get you too high as a consequence. Both of these are common factors that cause “whiteys,” and are easy enough to avoid and mitigate.

I was here

Where will you be when the acid kicks in?

Hectic areas like concerts, festivals, parties, raves, clubs, etc., can be overwhelming for even experienced smokers or trippers. Lack of an escape from the situation can induce extreme anxiety and panic attacks in many people. Your very best option in these type of situations is remove yourself from the area. Step outside for a breather, drink some cold water, splash some water in your face and see if you don’t feel better in 10 minutes. And in the future, just avoid smoking or tripping in those areas. Don’t feel bad though – I usually feel horrible when I trip at a concert, but I’ve still done it like 10 times.

Chronic anxiety or depression are another matter. I am lucky enough to have had anxiety and severe depression throughout some of my life, so I can speak on both of these matters. If you are feeling at all down or out-of-sorts, it is best to avoid tripping entirely. There’s no good that can come from psychedelics to a depressed person – trust me on that one.

Psychedelics will often amplify feelings and leave you making rash decisions and exacerbating the issue. The same qualities that turn music into sex and back rubs orgasmic will apply equally and opposite on the negative scale of emotion. There have been success stories, of course. But the ratio of good to bad when you are in a depressed, anxious or otherwise altered mindset is heavily biased toward bad. For every “psychedelics made me [temporarily] happy” I can show you 20 “I wanted to kill myself and was convinced life was a simulation that I had to end.” Freaky stuff.

Weed on the other hand isn’t quite so explosive. Many people have no problem smoking if they’re down, and may even use it as a mood stabilizer. I don’t necessarily recommend the latter, however I have done it myself so who am I to judge? If weed is not working for you, and you’re feeling more anxious or more depressed while high, then simply stop smoking. At least for a while.

If you stopped smoking for a week or two (or a year, whatever), and feel like starting back up, just take it easy. If a bowl to yourself made you freak out last time, try taking just one hit. There’s no honor and glory in taking huge hits, though frat boys and moochers might have you believe otherwise. Just take a nice puff and wait a couple minutes. If you feel good and want more, take another puff and gauge your reaction.

and photo ;)

May be too intense for gramps

An older stoner gentleman I met had smoked for about 40 years, and was in his late-50s. He didn’t have his first anxiety attack from weed until he was about 55. It happened when he went from having only ever smoked shwag, to smoking a full joint of high-grade, all-American hydro. After that he kind of got turned off of the strong stuff, but figured out he could smoke just a puff or two and be satisfied.

Sometimes though, even a small amount is unpleasant or just unfun. Weed may have provided happiness and pleasure for years, and seemingly overnight it will lose every ounce of magic. It happens. Don’t feel obligated to smoke weed just because it’s a habit. Usually the magic will return later. And if it’s internal struggles that cause it, the magic will return when they eventually dissipate. Don’t force it, you’ll know when the time is right.

Drug Test FAQ

Wednesday, January 15th, 2014

My guide to cheating drug tests has become one of the most popular articles on SC. Here are some common questions we get regarding drug tests, and the answers to them!

I have been clean 2 weeks, what are my chances of passing a drug test for THC?
Depends. If you are an athlete with low body fat and regularly exercise, you have a good chance. If you’re an average person (normal or more-than-average body fat) but only smoke once or twice a week you’ve also got a good chance. You can improve your chances by diluting your urine and supplementing with creatine/B12. Even a heavy smoker will often pass with 2 weeks clean and dilution. It’s just not a guarantee.

Do any drug tests test for gender?
No, neither a panel/EMIT test, a radioimmunoassay test, nor a GC/MS will ever test for gender, DNA, age, or anything other than presence of drugs and legitimacy (meaning if it’s real or not). Checking for DNA or those types of things without permission would be a huge violation of privacy and your medical rights.

Does a drug test check for temperature?
Yes, in almost all instances drug tests will include temperature tests. It is normally going fail you if you’re above 99˚F (37.2˚C) or below 96˚F (35.5˚C). So try to keep your urine at body temperature – that is 98.6˚F (37˚C).

Do urine cleansers or detox kits work? Which one should I buy?
No, they do not work and you should not buy them. They are a scam that just gives you some basic supplements (creatine and B12) and tell you to drink a bunch of water. Instead, dilute yourself by buying your own supplements for cheap and drinking a bunch of water. Or you can substitute urine and have a clean friend pee for you or buy synthetic urine to use.

Will a (5/7/9/10/11/12) panel test detect synthetic urine?
No, assuming it is good, modern synthetic stuff. They only test for temperature, presence of drugs, and presence of urea in some states (Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, West Virginia, California, Ohio, and Canada). Synthetic urine is specifically designed to beat panel tests, however if a test gets sent to a lab it could fail.

Will a lab test detect synthetic urine?
No, however you have to make sure it is formulated to account for pH balance, uric acid, and creatine. The most popular option is QuickFix Plus, and I have heard from a number of reliable sources that it works great.

Which synthetic urines are confirmed to work?
As of Sept 2014, I have had recent reports that QuickFix Plus and Dr. Green Agent X both pass drug tests with flying colors. If you know of a different one that worked for you, or have an update for us don’t hesitate to comment or email!

Can a test fail for lack of smell or color?
Nope, it will only fail if your temperature is over two degrees hotter or colder than 98.6˚F, or if there’s no urea present. Or if it detects drugs of course. However if you’re paranoid you can take some B12 vitamin before your test to give your urine a yellow hue.

How long does it take to pass a drug test for THC?
It depends on a number of factors. For the average smoker – someone who takes a few hits nearly every day – you can refer to the chart below. Keep in mind, this is just my estimation of your chance of passing naturally without any dilution or effort into getting clean (in fancy chart format). If you dilute your urine and take measures to expel the THC beforehand (by exercising and such) you can significantly improve your rate of success.
Read more

Will synthetic weed show up on a drug test?
That depends on the test. Most panel tests will not catch fake weed products. This includes the banned JWH series and so forth. But more and more tests are including synthetic THC, and a GC/MS would easily pick it up. The best advice (besides not using them) is to simply avoid the banned and well-known substances and opt for the more obscure alternatives. This obviously opens yourself up to the danger of unknown reactions and so forth, so proceed with great caution.

How long will urine last stored?
Room temp – maybe 8 hours or so max, realistically a few hours
Refrigerated – about a month
Frozen – a year or more

Will my employer perform a GC/MS, and if not what type of test will they administer?
Sometimes an employer will simply give you a panel test. These are the little cups that have a strip on them that tell you if you pass or fail. These are both the easiest to trick and the most unreliable. Often times they’ll give you a “lab test,” which involves physically traveling to a laboratory where they’ll administer a slightly more elaborate test. The lab will check for temperature, presence of creatine, pH balance, and adulterants. The best way to cheat a lab test is to dilute or substitute synthetic/clean urine.

GC/MS tests are almost never performed for the average person. You pretty much only see these for a security clearance or something important like that. They’re too expensive for most places. If anything a GC/MS will simply be used to “confirm” a positive (failed) test result.
Read more

What’s the best way to substitute urine?
Some people like to use a condom since they’re thin and transmit heat easily. Plus, girls can put them inside themselves to keep it the perfect temperature. However I don’t recommend that because it would be catastrophic if the condom broke.

Here’s my suggested method: Get a little bottle with a secure lid (like a 5 Hour Energy bottle) and make sure it’s perfectly clean. Put your substitute urine in there (either synthetic or clean from a friend) and wrap it with a hand-warmer. Keep a thermometer in there to make sure it stays between 96˚ and 99˚F (or 35.5˚ to 37˚C). This is an easy method as long as nobody is watching. You can also spend money on a whizzinator though I don’t think that’s necessary.
Read more

Will my drug test look for alcohol or cigarettes?
Unless your test is for insurance purposes, normally it will not. Sometimes for probation on a DUI, underage drinking or “Minor in Possession” they will test for alcohol but it is a very crappy test and you can literally drink the night before and still pass. There’s a separate test (the EtG test) specifically for alcohol that can go back 72 hours and you’d know if they were using that one.

My take home test gave me a very faint line, did I fail?
No, any line no matter how faint on your take-home test means you passed the test. It’s counter-intuitive, I know. As long as it shows up you’re good. If it’s blank then it means you’ve failed the test.

Is there any way to beat a hair test?
Now I’m not absolutely sure on this, but there is new evidence that suggests using hair relaxers can help pass a hair test significantly. Something like 95% of the THC was mitigated in some experiments. Other than that, no.

How long should I work out before the test?
Any fat you can burn off in the weeks before your test is great. Try to sweat out as much of the fat as you can (meaning lots of cardio), then about 2-3 days before your test stop working out and load up on fat. This will help remove the fat-laden THC from your body and then mix in clean fat to reduce the concentration. Combine this with dilution and it will work wonders!
Read more

Which drugs will not show up on a drug test (urine)?
Keep in mind the following could result in false positives, and you could always just get faulty tests, but these drugs should not trip your standard panel drug test:

  • Ketamine*
  • Tramadol*
  • Fentanyl*
  • Muscle relaxers (Carisoprodol, Cyclobenzaprine, etc)*
  • MDMA*
  • LSD
  • Mushrooms
  • Mescaline (Peyote, Peruvian Torch, San Pedro, etc)
  • Kratom
  • DXM
  • Various synthetic cannabinoids (avoid the banned ones like JWH-018)
  • Nitrous
  • Research chemicals (2c-*, DO*, *-NBOMe, etc)
  • Tobacco

*The marked drugs WILL show up on a lab test, but the rest will pass.
Read more

Which legal drugs can false positive for illegal drugs?
Keep in mind I’ve never heard any success stories of people using the “false positive” excuse to explain a bad result. But these are known to false positive, and you should avoid them before a test if you’re trying to trick one:

  • Any cough syrup – DXM or dextromethorphan is an opioid agonist, and it can confuse a test into thinking you have opiate metabolites in your urine.
  • Allergy medicine – Anything with pseudoephedrine or any -ephedrine can trip a test for amphetamine or MDMA usage. Allergy meds also commonly have DXM as well.
  • OTC or prescription Stimulants – It should probably go without saying that things like Adderall (amphetamine salts) would trip a test for amphetamine, but now it’s said. No excuses.
  • “Legal weed” blends (or synthetic cannabinoids) – Ever since the K2 and Spice craze of 2010, more tests have been including these drugs in their line-up. They will show up under THC.
  • Hemp oil, hemp seeds and poppy seeds.

Read more
If you have a question of your own, make sure it isn’t answered already on this page (ctrl+f to help you find what you need). If not, comment there or email me at and I’ll answer as soon as I can!

What Happens When You Get Arrested for Weed?

Wednesday, October 23rd, 2013

I’ll tell you. But first, a little back-story:

Awhile back, I was pulled over for minor traffic infraction and subsequently arrested for possessing a (fairly small) amount of marijuana, a grinder and a scale. I also had in my possession anti-psychotic pills, and a single .5 mg alprazolam. I was taken to jail and charged in one of the most strict, law-and-order counties, in a notoriously conservative state. Needless to say, this was a pretty open-and-shut case, and I didn’t stand much chance.


Successfully Store, Transport and Ship Drugs

Sunday, October 20th, 2013

Storing weed is another of those forgettably simple tasks that can cause anxiety in the inexperienced cannabis enthusiast. Transporting and shipping weed is a process that can cause anxiety for any level of user. Both storage and transportation can be important to your legal safety as well as to the continued potency of your drugs, and they’re both rife with myths and misunderstandings. Let’s sort through this mess and try to clean it up.

Suboxone Withdrawal Really Sucks

Saturday, January 14th, 2012

I spotted this awesome little piece of literature while browsing the Something Awful forums. It’s regarding the dark side of drugs – the side that most users don’t particularly like to think about, and hope they never have to. But withdrawal is truly a fascinating topic, and one that’s hard to comprehend if you haven’t experienced it. To an addict, withdrawal is an invisible driving force behind their use. Even if a user genuinely wants to rid themselves of a drug, the threat of withdrawal can force them to do anything in their power to stave off the horror.

How to Smoke DMT

Tuesday, December 27th, 2011

When I’ve first learned and taken interest in a drug, I always immediately begin research on how to most effectively administer it. It sucks going back later and finding out a large portion of valuable drugs went to waste. However, when I came across DMT (by making it myself), I could not manage to find a concrete source on how to use it. Some people suggested tossing it on a bowl of weed, a few claimed the trick was hitting with a torch lighter, others suggested making a crude device called “The Machine,” or using a lightbulb vape/crackpipe to similar effect. I was even directed towards buying expensive bong attachments – or specially crafted, highly priced pieces – and vaporizers.

Believe me when I say I’ve tried every damn one of these suggestions. Now, with hundreds of dollars worth of DMT wasted, I know how to do it: vaporization.

“Was my weed laced?” a Handy Checklist

Saturday, October 22nd, 2011

First off, no. Well probably not, but I’ll humor you.


Stoner’s Guide to Cheating/Beating Drug Tests

Saturday, October 8th, 2011

I don’t know that there’s a cannabis enthusiast in America who has not faced a stressful drug test situation (I’ve certainly faced plenty). Whether they’re related to probation or employment, millions of Americans face worrisome drug screenings every year.

Even completely clean individuals break a sweat inside the testing office… Hell, we’ve all seen the Seinfeld episode where Elaine fails a drug test due to eating poppy seeds. It isn’t the most likely false positive scenario, but it is entirely possible. There are countless reasons why you might fail a drug test when no drugs have ever been ingested.

Americans should know their rights and when to exercise them, including (most importantly) those who are doing nothing wrong. If you’re on the wrong end of the justice system, the best-intentioned, most honorable man can be a victim. In this same vein, we should be well-versed in the capabilities and limitations of drug tests.

Short on time? Visit the Drug Test FAQ!

Squad leader from Vietnam War shows us how to smoke weed with a GUN

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010

This is how you get your weed smoking done when in a war zone. Like it? Got a video of some modern day soldiers toking up on fine Afghan hashish? Leave a comment!

Lotus’ Guide to Psychedelic Use

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

[stc: this was written by our established contributor Lotus, who is a frequent user of psychedelics and occasionally rides motocross stoned]
Tripping for the first time on a psychedelic can be a very stressful time for any person. Most people have no idea what to expect from a drug like LSD, psilocybe mushrooms, or mescaline, and the rumors and myths surrounding these drugs can make it difficult to tell fact from fiction. I’m going to try to tell you some things to help you out on what can be a life-changing experience, so that it’s a change for the better, and not the worse.