Stoner’s Guide to Cheating/Beating Drug Tests

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I don’t know if there’s a single cannabis enthusiast in America who has not faced a stressful drug test situation–I’ve certainly faced plenty. Whether they’re related to probation or employment, millions of Americans face worrisome drug screenings every year.

Even completely clean individuals break a sweat inside the testing office…hell, we’ve all seen the Seinfeld episode where Elaine fails a drug test due to eating poppy seeds. It isn’t the most likely false positive scenario, but it is entirely possible. There are countless reasons why you might fail a drug test when no actual drugs have ever been ingested. If you’ve actually taken drugs, the stress caused by testing can be nearly insurmountable. We’re here to give you the information you need to confidently approach a drug test with the intent to pass, even if you’ve recently used drugs.

Now, Americans should know their rights and when to exercise them–especially those who are doing nothing wrong. Under our justice system, even the best-intentioned, most honorable man or woman can be a victim.


Jump to:
The Drug Tests
Saliva Test
Hair Tests
Urinalysis
Substitution
Dilution
Speedy Metabolism
Waiting it Out
Lab Tests
Myths
What You’ll Probably Take
False Positives
“Test Proof” Drugs
The Drug Tests (a brief overview)

  • Hair Test Can test back for years, depending on hair length – Generally tested back 90 days – Very accurate – Very difficult (if not impossible) to beat – Second most common test (though a distant second)
  • Urine Test (urinalysis) – Can test back to varying degrees for different drugs, maximum of two months – Fairly simple to beat, depending on drug – Accuracy wildly ranges depending on type of urinalysis – Most common drug test by far
  • Blood Test – Only detects drugs from the last few days or so at most – Impossible to beat – Extremely accurate – Rare, though they are seeing more use in suspected DWI cases
  • Saliva Test – Only detects drugs used in that last 24 hours, in most cases – May be easy to beat – Not very reliable – Most logical solution for future marijuana “drugged driving” charges – Not used extensively in America today
  • Sweat Test – Not really even worth mentioning except for novelty – Hardly ever used, unreliable, expensive, silly

You are now familiar with the tests. I am not a teacher who believes in standardized testing, so I’ll simply take it on good faith that you’ve understood this much so far. As you can see, only two of the tests are used with any consistency, and coincidentally they are the only two that can be cheated.

With saliva tests, there’s really not a whole lot to say. The longest anything can be detected in your saliva is around 3 days (for amphetamines and benzos). The rest of the drugs are undetectable after about 24 hours. If you find yourself getting tested in these time windows there’s little you can do. Your best bet is to simply brush your teeth. Yep, sanitizing your mouth will help to eliminate any of the incriminating chemicals that might fail you.

Keep a bit of mouthwash with you to use a few minutes before your test. If alcohol is tested for, obviously you’ll want to find a good mouthwash without alcohol. It is important to have cleaned or rinsed your mouth within an hour of the test to give you the best possible chance of passing. You would do well to avoid actually touching your cheeks if at all possible during the swab. Try to put it in between your teeth or somewhere where it gets wet but doesn’t touch the inside of your cheeks. I have had numerous positive reports of people using this method to success, but I have not verified it myself or confirmed with independent testing.

The hair test suggestions will be brief. The only guaranteed pass you’ll have is by removing all hair, including body and facial hair. Any hair they can find is fair game. About an inch and a half will get them enough material to determine what drugs you’ve used in the past 90 days. Since your hair acts as a timeline of your drug use, this metric will stay consistent throughout the length (ie-each extra .5 inches will always equal about a month).

Limited success has been had by users who attempt to bleach their hair, or wash it with certain chemicals. One of the problems associated with testing is that the subjects rarely, if ever, see their results. So, a company could in fact hire a potential employee in spite of a failed drug test. Therefore, it is unwise to accept the experiences of people passing employment or probation tests. Too many variables.

Soapbox aside, about all you can do is shave or pray. Fortunately for most, hair tests are not used in pre- or current-employment testing in the vast majority of situations. However, I have personally come across them, so I know they do exist. Occasionally they’ll be used by extremely strict probation officers or courtrooms, but that is an occurrence even rarer than in the private sector.

3/29/13 Update! There have been reports that success has been had with “hair relaxers.” And in fact the science seems to back it up, finding that in certain circumstances as little as 5% of the original illicit chemicals remained after being treated with hair-relaxer.

Urinalysis is a much more exciting topic; the tests are more common, and they can be fooled. The sheer number of different urine tests – all varying significantly in price and consistency – makes for a complex situation. It’s such a tangled mess of confusion, most stressed-out test takers have no concept of where to begin. Let’s begin at the types of urine tests in practice today:

  • Gas Chromatography/Mass Spectrometry (GC/MS)
  • Enzyme Multiplied Immunoassay Technique (EMIT)
  • Radio ImmunoAssay (RIA)
  • Test Cup

“Whoa, what the hell are those names and how am I supposed to know what’s going on? Also, test cup!”

Let’s be honest, nobody really cares what the names of the tests are, we all just want to pass them, right? The majority of the time, you’ll have little idea exactly what type of test you’ll be getting. Websites can be found that contain lists of employers who drug test and the types of tests they administer. But I’ve found they’re often outdated and, frankly, wrong.

The test cup (or test strip) is the most common option in the urinalysis family. This test has soared in popularity in recent years due to its relative consistency, ability to be sent in for lab-confirmation, and low price point. The concept is extremely simple, and thus is pretty damn easy to pass. If you were to heat tap water to 98˚, you could possibly fool this one. Some of them do check for concentrations of creatine or uric acid, but they are fairly rare. Most of time they only check for temperature and drugs.

If sent to a lab, your urine will be tested for everything under the sun, including verification that it is urine. Companies do not check gender of submitted samples. It is prohibitively expensive, and would serve little to no purpose. As long as it is human urine, it will do just fine.

Most Common Tests:

  • 5 panel test – THC – Opiates – Methamphetamine – Amphetamine – Cocaine
  • 9 panel test – THC – Opiates – Methamphetamine – Amphetamine – Cocaine – Barbiturates – Benzodiazepines – Morphine – PCP
  • 11 panel test – THC – Opiates – Methamphetamine – Amphetamine – Cocaine – Barbiturates – Benzodiazepines – Methadone – PCP – Oxycodone – MDMA

You can find tests of any random number of panels, but these are the most common types of preliminary urine tests you will receive. The 5 panel is the cheapest and normally used by over-bearing parents and the like. Most corporate tests or probation offices will use the 9 panel, though the 11 panel does appear occasionally. In most cases if you pass one of those, they won’t bother you any longer.

Only substitution can provide the absolute guarantee. That is, take someone else’s pee and put it in the jar. It may seem like a daunting suggestion at first, but as long as you don’t try a sitcom-esque scheme it is definitely doable. In fact, the most difficult part of the exercise is finding a clean donor.
Facts/methods of substitution

  • Condoms or 5 Hour Energy bottles are your friend – The first step at acquiring your clean urine is to stow it away somehow. A condom carries the concern of breakage, but has the added benefit of being puncturable to provide a convincing stream for nosy probation officers. If concealment is not a concern, the 5 Hour Energy (or other small, thin container) will be ideal.
  • Temp must be in the range of 96-99˚F –The best way to ensure this is a portable hand warmer. Put your urine container in the warmer, and measure the temperature with a thermometer before pouring it into the cup. Another option is to simply keep the container in a warm area on the body. Armpits or other hot areas like genitalia will serve the purpose.
  • Urine can stay “good” for monthsIf left to its own devices, your urine will expire in a room within a few hours. Refrigerated, the lifespan jumps to a maximum of 30 days. If frozen, it can last up to a year! Simply unfreeze when you need it, warm it up, and you’re ready to confidently walk into any testing center.
  • Synthetic urine does work –Do your research on this, some of them are scams. But some are legitimate, and if you struggle to find a willing, clean donor, they can be a life-saver. Make sure to verify you are getting the most up-to-date option, as tests are constantly fighting an uphill battle against synthetic companies.
  • As of September 2014, I have had recent, confirmed reports from readers that current versions of QuickFix Plus and Dr. Green Agent X both pass drug tests with flying colors. If you know of a different one that worked for you, or have an update for us don’t hesitate to comment or email!
  • If you live in the following states Quick Fix Plus (Canadian version) is the ONLY effective synthetic urine: Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, West Virginia, California, Ohio, Colorado, and Canada. You will fail for lack of uric acid if you use the standard version of Quick Fix or if you use Dr. Green Agent X.

If substitution is not an option, you’re not completely out of luck. The recommended backup will not (contrary to popular belief) involve buying a “get clean” kit from your local head shop. These are all scams, and most of the time they do nothing but add some basic stuff like B12 or creatine, both of which could be bought without paying absurd markup.

The second option, in fact, is as simple as drinking water. If you drink a good amount of water the night before, the drug metabolites in the urine will be saturated in much more water than they normally would. And since drug tests measure concentrations of these, it can effectively be used as a cheating technique. With anything, you don’t want to go overboard. To begin with, too much water can kill you. Beyond that, many tests have screenings for certain acids in the urine that will also be diluted by water.

Therefore, if you are too successful in your dilution, they may throw out your test, and make you retake it. This could be good or bad, but if nothing else it gives you a few more days to get clean. An option to counter over-dilution possibilities is to take the aforementioned creatine or B12 supplements. Many individuals drink enough water so that their urine is nearly clear, as that is the natural color of healthy urine. So stick by your story that you drink lots of water, and there shouldn’t be much of a problem.

It is also recommended that you do not use the first pee of the day, and that you take a sample from mid-stream. The reason being; when you sleep lots of junk is released by your body for expulsion the next morning. This means there’s a higher concentration of the stuff that can get you in trouble after you just wake up. By taking the test on your second or third urination of the day, you’re helping clear out the crap that has accumulated.

A proven yet more time and effort intensive option does exist. If you want to really ensure you’re going to pass this test, and cannot or will not substitute urine, you can help along your body with exercise. Perform a higher-than-normal cardiovascular workout for a week or two prior to the test. This will get your metabolism pumping, so the THC will spend less time relaxing in your fat reserves.

About 3 days before the test you’ll want to stop, and “fatten” yourself up. Pack on serious carbohydrate-heavy dinners, and it will help saturate the “dirty layer.” This is an effective technique for people who will be facing very difficult tests (including military-issued), and need that extra bump to ensure that they will pass. Combined with dilution, a two week break, and this method, even the most stringent tests will be passed. And, more importantly, passed legitimately.

Now, bear in mind, all of the immediately preceding information is THC-specific. Other drug-related metabolites are not processed in this fashion, so the metabolism-boost won’t help as much. Dilution is going to work for anything, however, as it’s just simply adding more of one thing than another.

Wholly legitimate strategies for passing will only entail a process of waiting. Which I think seems rather boring, but then I do have a tendency to take risks… Anyway, there are many handy charts for this on the web, but since you’re here, I’ll give you the basic time-table:

  • Weed: urinalysis – 5 weeks, blood – 2 weeks, saliva – 24 hours
  • Opiates: urinalysis – 1 week, blood – 24 hours, saliva – 24 hours
  • (Meth)Amphetamine: urinalysis – 1 week, blood – 4 days, saliva – 3 days
  • Benzodiazepine: urinalysis – 45 days, blood/saliva – unclear (likely 30 days for blood, 3 days for saliva)
  • Alcohol: urinalysis – 5 days specialized test (normal test 12 hours), blood/saliva – 24 hours

A more comprehensive list can be found at Erowid, however it is slightly out of date. All of the times listed here are worst-case scenarios, and applicable to chronic users of heavy doses. Abstaining from a drug for the times listed above will ensure 100% beyond any doubt that you will pass your test for that substance. For a single time – or inconsistent – user the detection times will be halved or greater in many cases.

If your sample is sent to a lab it will be inspected with very precise tools. However, these tools are expensive and exhaustible, meaning they are not interested in wasting those valuable resources on everyone’s urine, checking for obscure chemicals they’ve likely never heard of.

Usually, it will only be sent to a lab if you fail the preliminary test. If it’s for pre-employment, they may simply dismiss you altogether, false positive or not. It’s unfair and ridiculous, but that’s corporate America in a nutshell. But if it’s a probation (or any court-related) screening they’ll be – more or less – legally obligated to send it in for verification. At that point, there’s nothing you can do but sit back and wait for your results.

I hate drug test myths, I really do. I used to not really care, and take amusement in the naiveté, but now I’ve seen real harm done because of them. So here are some quick dismissals of urban legends:

  • Bleach does not “clear your system,” or clean it, or do anything. Quantities as little as 4 drops can purify an entire gallon of water. That means every harmful bacteria in that water is ensured to be completely mitigated with 4 drops of bleach. Imagine what a teaspoonful could do to the beneficial bacteria in your digestive tract. I heard a person swear by bleach drinking. She was on probation for an entire year, and “passed every time but once” by drinking bleach. I didn’t ask for her method, but I would assume it included lots and lots of water, seeing as her digestive system seems to still be in working order…
  • There are no legal repercussions from failing a pre-employment test. If you fail, the only bad news is you’ll not be offered a position. But there will not be any officers knocking on your door (because of the drug test, anyway).
  • Tests do not test for gender, age, race, height, menopause, penis size… I believe the same episode of Seinfeld I mentioned earlier perpetuated this myth. Rest assured, males and females can substitute urine for each other to their heart’s content. There is no chance of discovery beyond actually transferring the liquid and keeping it at the correct temperature.
  • No those ridiculous “get clean” tests don’t work.I already addressed this briefly, but it bears repeating. Stop paying hard-earned money for this shit; you might as well spend it on weed. Most of the directions have you drinking so much water, you might start to wonder if they’re trying to help you pass or drown you. Truth is, they’re simply taking advantage of stressed-out people, and forcing them to perform dilution before taking credit for the positive result.
  • “My cousin passed by hopping on one foot while drinking lime juice from a shot glass and then performing three backflips.” Anecdotal evidence aside, drug tests are notoriously inaccurate. Dirty people pass, clean people fail, and everything in between. It’s not a fair game, and the only winners are those who get lucky. You can do what you can to increase your odds, though, and that’s what this page is all about.

Now that all that is out of my system, let’s move past “how to beat the test.” Most people are unaware what a drug test actually entails, let alone what test they might receive. And with fancy names and acronyms like like GC/MS, Radio ImmunoAssay, and EMIT, good luck taking a guess.

Here’s what test you’ll be taking if:

  • Pre-Employment/Promotion- It wholly depends on your employer. I know it seems like a cop out, but it’s true. In most cases, lower paying jobs (likeretail employers) will use the most easily fooled type: the test cup/strip. On occasion they are known to use EMIT, but it’s rare, and GC/MS is almost unheard of. You will most likely go into a private stall or bathroom unsupervised to do your business. I have been to one employer who wanted to hair test me, and I’ve heard of some others. It’s a rare practice, but it does occur. In most cases they will not retest if you fail, they simply won’t offer you the job.
  • Drug/Alcohol Related Probation- As with anything in the court system it depends on a number of factors. Most probation programs will also use the test cup. If you fail and maintain cleanliness, the same sample will likely be sent to a testing facility for further examination. If you fail that, you have violated your probation terms and your fate lies in the hand of your probation officer or judge. You’ll want to be clean or diluted, as you will normally be watched by a probation officer.
  • Serious Probation/Job Incident- I don’t know exactly what test federal probation uses, but I would guess the EMIT. For employer-given tests due to a worker’s comp application or a work-related accident, they will almost always use an EMIT or even GC/MS. In fact, I believe the insurance company requires this, not necessarily the business itself. You will go to a testing facility, and likely enter unsupervised in a private room. Real-substitution or a break from usage plus dilution is recommended, as synthetic can be detected.
  • Military The military almost exclusively uses Radio ImmunoAssay (RIA), and you NEED to be clean. You will be closely watched (inspected), and this test is extremely accurate and notoriously difficult to trick. Other high-security-clearance employment positions will also use either this or the GC/MS test.

Many chemicals are known to produce false positives, much to the chagrin of the unsuspecting test subject. Many medications (including over-the-counter) will trip a drug test, as well as some various foods. Some tests have been altered to reduce the number of false positives, but they still exist, and it’s still wise to take measures against them. False positives can even be caused by your own body. For the most part you’ll generally be ok with modern tests, but there are still some substances you’d be smart to avoid in the few days before a test.
Amphetamines:

  • Amantadine
  • Bupropion (Wellbutrin/Zyban)
  • Chloroquine (Aralen)
  • Chlorpromazine (Thorazine)
  • Desipramine (Norpramine)
  • Dextroamphetamine or DXM (Dexedrine, Mucinex, Robitussin, CCC, etc.)
  • Ephedrine (Energy supplements/allergy meds)
  • Labetalol
  • Mexiletine (Mexitil)
  • Procainamide
  • Phentermine (Adipex)
  • Phenylephrine (Neo-Synephrine/Phenergan/other allergy or cold meds)
  • Propranolol (Inderal)
  • Pseudoephedrine (Claritin-D/Sudafed/Zyrtec/various allergy pills)
  • Quinacrine (Atabrine/Mepacrine)
  • Rantidine (Zantac)
  • Selegiline (Deprenyl)
  • Trazadone (Desyrel)

Cannabinoids:

  • Efavirenz (Sustiva)
  • Cannabis Seed/Hemp Oil
  • Pantoprazole (Protonix)
  • Dronabinol/Marinol (only legal in prescribed applications, not always accepted)

Opiates:

  • Fluroquinolones (Levaquin)
  • Ofloxacin (Floxin)
  • Papaverine (Papaverine)
  • Rifampin (Rimactane)
  • Poppy seeds (just like Seinfeld!)

Barbiturates:

  • Phenytoin (Dilantin)
  • Primidone (Mysoline)

Benzos:

  • Oxaprozin (DayproTM)
  • Sertraline (Zoloft)

There are a number of ‘test-proof’ drugs, including substitutes for almost any known illicit chemical available. The following few should go undetected by any of the lower-end tests like the panel cups/strips:

  • *Ketamine – Ketamine has been reported to trip drug tests for PCP, but I have never experienced this myself. I have passed tests that included PCP while using ketamine.
  • *Tramadol – While Tramadol is an opioid class of drug, it does not release the same metabolites as any other popular opiate/opioid. So it will pass panel tests (personal experience).
  • *Fentanyl – Another opioid that metabolizes into unique chemicals that would not normally be included on a panel test.
  • *Muscle relaxers (Carisoprodol, Cyclobenzaprine, etc) – Also known as Soma will pass panel tests (personal experience).
  • *MDMA – This can false positive a test for amphetamines, but most panel tests do not include it explicitly. Be careful with this one as it could burn you with a false positive.
  • LSD – Psychedelics are out of the system too soon (basically when you stop tripping) and are not tested for.
  • Mushrooms – Same as LSD
  • Mescaline (Peyote, Peruvian Torch, San Pedro, etc) – Same as LSD
  • Research chemicals (2c-*, DO*, *-NBOMe, etc) – Same as LSD
  • Kratom – not tested for and legal in most places
  • DXM – OTC so you can do it to your heart’s content. However it can trip a test for amphetamines so be warned.
  • Various synthetic cannabinoids (avoid the banned ones like JWH-018)
  • Nitrous – Legal and probably untestable.
  • Tobacco – only tested for insurance or healthcare purposes.

*The marked drugs WILL show up on a lab test, but the rest will pass.

I hope this information is helpful, I have been through the drug screening wringer many, many times. A page like this is what I always tried to find, but never could. I will continue to update this as needed, but if you have any questions or comments don’t hesitate to leave one below, or even e-mail me at lotus@stonerculture.com

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1,374 Responses to “Stoner’s Guide to Cheating/Beating Drug Tests”

  1. friendlyhippo Says:

    Hey, wanted to know if you could give me any feedback. I am 5’9 and 135lbs. I smoked 2 weeks prior to a panel 9 drug test with a 50 cutoff for thc. Before smoking 2 weeks ago, I smoked like 2 months prior. I did not do much excercise and I drank a normal amount of water but did not aim to dilute. The test was in the afternoon so got that going for me. What do you think my chances are? Thanks for lookin out man.

  2. Lotus Says:

    You’ve got pretty good chances. My guess is that you passed. Most people who smoke a lot still pass after 2 weeks, and since you’re a rare smoker your chances are even better. Best of luck!

  3. Taryn Says:

    On Saturday I had two long island iced teas between 2 and 3pm i have to take an etg test at 6pm on Monday about 52 hoops after last drink . i am 120 lbs and 5.3′ I have a fast metabolism been drinking lots of water today (Monday) too think I’ll be ok?

  4. Lotus Says:

    Hmm that could be cutting it pretty close. Drug test companies claim that they can detect it 80 hours after drinking, but 72 hours is typically the max. Most people will pass after 48 hours but it’s not a guarantee. Hard to say in your case, wish I could be more help.

  5. Scared shitless Says:

    Lotus, i am a chronic user who just found out i will need to take a basic drug test in about 3 weeks. I have stoped today but i normally smoke about a half gram to a gram a day. Is there anything besides working out like a mad man that i can do to pass or should I just plan to substitute with quick fix? This job would almost double my pay so its the most important drug test ive ever taken!

  6. Lotus Says:

    I think you’ll be fine passing on your own. If you want to double check get a home-test from WalGreens or a grocery store and take it a few days before the real test. If you fail that then go for the QuickFix. Most people can pass on their own after a couple weeks though.

  7. Scared shitless Says:

    Really Ive read online everywhere that chronic users may take up too 2 months to get it all out of your system.

  8. Lotus Says:

    It’s extremely rare to take that long. The average time is 2 weeks for most users, some people it takes 3-4 weeks, and I’ve only seen one in a thousand or less who took more than a month.

  9. Scared shitless Says:

    Thanks bud, seeing as how im taking a stadrard piss test thats being sent to a lab, Do you think an at home test will be acurate enough to determine if i will pass in about 2-3 weeks?

  10. ChanceTaker Says:

    Lotus if I have opiates and meth in my system the day of the test can I still dilute my piss to show up inconclusive? Please respond asap I appreciate u!

  11. Lotus Says:

    ChanceTaker– Yeah if you want to take a chance, you can try it. It’s not a guarantee of course, but it’s definitely possible to pass. If you do that, then drink a fuckton of water (like a gallon) and just make sure you’re as diluted as possible.

    Scared shitless– Yeah I mean they aren’t super consistent, so if you get like 2 or 3 of them you can be more confident. A lot of places sell them in packs, so that’s what I would do. If you can get like 5 of them, check 2 at 2 weeks, then the other 3 check at 3 weeks. If they all show up as a pass at 3 weeks then you should be ok. And remember even a very faint line is still a pass, as long as you can see it it’s good. If the line doesn’t show up at all then go with QuickFix.

    Let me know if you have any more questions, and how it turns out.

  12. paranoid smoker Says:

    Lotus, I have smoked everyday for a long time. Usually a joint or two but have not smoked since January 29. I took a few goldenseals, b-complex and some cranberry extract (advise from others). For two days now i have been drinking water and green tea with no sugar. I am a thick girl. My pre-employment drug test is on the 24 or 25. Do I have any chance of passing?

  13. Lotus Says:

    You you have a great chance of passing. You should pass unless you have terrible luck.

  14. paranoid smoker Says:

    Thanks lotus, you just made me feel much better. Greatest site I have come across, your awesome! Will let you know what happens next week.

  15. Still thc Says:

    Hey there lotus,

    I was a moderate smoker (1/8 would last me a couple weeks) and went clean for about 2 weeks. Unfortunately I had a lapse and smoked around four times in the last 3 days. Around 2 to 4 hits each. I also took some adderall today.

    How long until I’m clean? There is a risk that I may be tested in the next week or two, but nothing has been mentioned (perhaps I’m paranoid but dealing with other issues at work). I took a home test today which was positive for thc, not surprisingly. Should I invest in agent x synthetic urine? Do they normally notify you of drug screens or should I just wear my concealed urine for a few days?

  16. Lotus Says:

    Some employers will tell you, some won’t. I’d get some synthetic just to be safe, and I’d recommend getting the type that passes for uric acid (new Agent X does, and so does QuickFix Plus). It’ll last you a couple years if you don’t use it now, so it might come in handy later on. I’d wait a couple weeks to be safe before using your real urine. It might be clean in a week or so, but it’s not worth the risk in my eyes.

  17. Concerned Says:

    I had to take a pre-employment drug test this am. I did a home test yesterday and the second line for a negative test came up however only slightly. I got a clean specimen and went in for the test this am. I didn’t have enough for the amount required so I had to add about 1/4 of my own. Both samples are female and around the same age. Temps were the same as well. Should I be concerned?

  18. Lotus Says:

    No you’ll be perfectly fine. Wouldn’t sweat it at all.

  19. Still thc Says:

    Thanks lotus!! So I should carry it around in my underpants for the two weeks?

  20. Lotus Says:

    You can probably just keep it in a bag/purse/pocket or whatever. Unless you’re in the military or on probation they don’t watch you give the sample. So just keep it with you and you can mix it (if it’s powder) when they tell you you’re up.

  21. Chrash Says:

    did a DOT TEST with pac lab paml
    used quick fix plus 6

    Good?

  22. Chrash Says:

    Wa state btw

  23. Lotus Says:

    Yeah shouldn’t be an issue.

  24. Coco Says:

    Ugh. So I’ve been reading everything I can find…but I figured if still post my question. So I’ve been clean for a year +. Took 3 hits off a joint 14 days before I took my urine test. The test went to metro legacy lab (don’t know if that matters). From what I could find on their web site, they test at 20ng. Night before I stayed up late drinking 2bottles of water and a large glass of OJ. Next morning I drank 2 more bottles, peed two times, then gave my sample on 3rd per of the day (pale yellow). It’s been 2 days and havent heard anything. I’m freaking out, cause it’s my dream job and I already gave my notice at my job!

  25. Coco Says:

    Oh and I passed a 50 NG home test. But I know those arnt the best 🙂

  26. Wondering Says:

    I took a urine drug test on Monday. How long does it take for the results to come back. I haven’t heard anything from the place I am trying to get a job at as of today. Would they have contacted me by now if it was positive?

  27. Lotus Says:

    Coco– Lab tests usually take a week or two to get back information. You’ll probably pass, but it will take a few days for the new employer to get the results.

    Wondering– Same thing as Coco, if it’s a lab test it takes a week on average or as long as two weeks. If it’s an instant test then they’ll usually send the results right away or maybe after a day.

  28. Coco Says:

    Yeah my job said it will take only a day or so for this certain lab. I haven’t heard anything and it’s been 72 hours. But who knows, I’ll take no news as good news. I’ll let you guys know if 14 days was enough to pee clean from the 3 hits.

  29. Wondering Says:

    Thanks Lotus. The lab said it would be a couple of days. That was on Monday. Its now Friday. Should I be worried? Would they have contacted me if I didn’t pass?

  30. Wondering Says:

    As Coco, I am taking it as “no news is good news.”

  31. Coco Says:

    I subbed with synthetic a few years ago and my sample was caught by the same lab (Legacy metro) and the MRO called me the next to ask about my sample (No urnic acid). I think the MRO calls if they have and suspicion of a dirty UA, so they can clarify if it’s meds you are prescribed and what not. So I’m hoping since I haven’t heard from him, I’m okay. Good luck to you Wondering!

  32. Lotus Says:

    Coco– Yeah no news is typically good news. Oftentimes an employer won’t say a word about your results, they’ll just say “come in on Monday” if you pass or “we went with someone else” if you fail.

    Wondering– It’s very common for people to post here that it has been over a week without news and they end up passing. The labs can get backed up and take longer than anticipated. They should let you know either way though. If you don’t hear back today I’d give them a call Monday and ask them what the deal is. Especially since you’re leaving an old job it’s not unreasonable to want to know when you’ll be starting.

  33. Brooks Says:

    Hey I just took a 4 panal drug test and I tested positive for weed but I haven’t smoked in a month and a week I did hang out with my budy and he was. Smoking I held my breath every time his second hand smoke came to me and I just want to know what the fuck happened

  34. Lotus Says:

    Probably a faulty test or a misreading. Those 4 panels are very unreliable. Did the person know that even a very faint line is considered passing? Ask for a retest if possible.

  35. Victaaa Says:

    Hey I have a 6 panel drug test coming up tomorrow, I’m a heavy toker, but have seen positive results with dilution, however the test is monitored in a drug clinic. Is there any other way besides dilution ? I know that I can sub a clean friends urine but how would I go about dropping the specimen, if I’m being watched ?
    Thanks, Vic

  36. Lotus Says:

    I think you are confused about dilution. You’re not tampering the sample at all, you’re using your own urine straight from the tap. All you do is drink a whole bunch of water beforehand so that your urine is watered down and doesn’t have as much THC metabolites concentrated in there.

    I do know some people that were able to keep a condom under their balls and poke it with a needle to make it look like they’re peeing when somebody was watching. That’s kinda sketchy though and you definitely don’t wanna get caught.

  37. Victaaa Says:

    I was drinking Gatorade and certo as well. But, with that it was a 5 panel nida. Ive read that those are easy to pass with dilution. But I’m just worried that imma get caught. I’ve read about putting a balloon in reactally, and using fish tubing rubberbanded inside the balloon. Then bandaid the tube under the piece. But that’s still sketchy to me. Lol. But the sample that was reactally inserted was perfect temp and all.

  38. Victaaa Says:

    & I’m talking watching with 2 mirrors one right in front of you, and one right on the side so it’s like almost impossible. Any ideas on how to make my urine real yellow during dilution without messing it up. ? I have 1000mcg B-12 as well.

  39. Lotus Says:

    Yeah if it’s stored in your ass it’s basically guaranteed to be the right temp. There’s a reason they take temperature anally haha. But yeah I probably wouldn’t bother with that, I’m not into having piss in my asshole. If you take that B12 or B6 your urine will be plenty yellow, in fact it’ll be like neon-colored, but that’s fine.

    I’d recommend taking half the B12 tonight, and drinking a good amount of water. Then tomorrow make sure you piss in the morning after you wake up, then after that drink as much water as possible without killing yourself (don’t drink more than a gallon or so). If you can get your hands on some creatine supplements then take those asap. Otherwise you might try drinking an energy drink or a soda or something before the test to add some “weight” and color to the urine.

    I wouldn’t worry much about the color honestly. Technically the color of urine is always supposed to be clear, otherwise it’s an indication that you’re drinking not enough water or too much other stuff. Sodas, gatorades, coffee, tea, and things like that give urine color because the body is filtering out all the extra crap in them. So if they give you shit about the color just tell them you stay well-hydrated.

  40. Victaaa Says:

    Thank you @lotus . But I’ve seen at the facility that they want the urine yellow otherwise it’ll be sent to the lab. But I appreciate your advice and I’ll post back my results !!

  41. Lotus Says:

    Gotcha. Best of luck!

  42. panic'd chick Says:

    Hi lotus, thanks for all the information — you really seem to have a good heart helping all of us! Wanted to run my situation by you–

    Female, everyday smoker for the past few years, 5’5″, 135lbs. Don’t workout…yoga every once and a while. I’ve been clean for about 18 days. lost some weight, been eating super healthily for a long time. I failed an at-home test without diluting at all, and then passed slightly (FAINT second line) after diluting a few hours later. Today I am diluting as much as possible, took a B supp. and am planning on taking the test tomorrow afternoon (after continuing to dilute dilute dilute!) I will be trying 2 more at-home tests.. today and tomorrow before the test.

    What do you think my chances are??? And do you have any suggestions? I was thinking of eating a fatty breakfast tomorrow to slow my metabolism bc it is normally very fast. I know I’m cutting it close but I just wanted a second opinion…

    Thank you!!!!!!!

  43. Lotus Says:

    You’ve got pretty good chances. I think the key to passing is just dilute as much as you can, and take some creatine tonight if possible and tomorrow morning. Make sure you pee in the morning before your test, and then drink as much water as possible without killing yourself.

    Best of luck, let me know how it goes or if you have any more questions.

  44. crazychick86 Says:

    Hey Lotus,
    thank you an abundance for all your great advice which has helped me a lot since my obsessiveness over pre-employment drug screening began for me 2 weeks ago.

    I was wondering if you have any recent reviews of Dr. Greens Agent X passing a urine test in 2015….my box says mine was made in 02/2014. I THINK there’s uric acid in it, i live in the northeast, but ‘m just really spazzing that its too outdated and quest lab will pick up on it being synthetic.
    hope you see this in time, my test is tomorrow. thanks again for all your help!

  45. Lotus Says:

    Agent X started using uric acid in 2012 if I’m not mistaken (2013 at the very latest), so it should be fine for you to use. I’ve had a number of people report to me that it has worked recently, including one guy from about 3 weeks ago. Let me know how it goes, and good luck!

  46. NOT SO panic'd chick Says:

    I PASSED!!!!! Lotus thank you for this site and for your advice.

    For everyone else out there — I definitely attribute my passing to: 1) Abstaining (19 days) and 2) DILUTION!. I am a heavy daily smoker (medicinal — but not recognized in my state) and was very worried about 19 days not being enough; especially since I do not work out or sweat much. Dilution was key. I took B Vitamins and ate protien-rich foods leading up to the test, which may have helped.

    The day of testing I drank water & gatorade, voided about 5-6 times before the test. My submission sample was a very clear, light yellow.

    I must say that I also did a lot of positive visualization and meditation which I also give credit to. Maybe you do not believe in that type of thing, but I do. It also helped with the intense anxiety during this entire situation (not to mention the physical pain from being off my NATURAL MEDICATION.)

    Good luck to all of you out there! Legalization is coming!!!!!!!

  47. Lotus Says:

    Awesome!! Love hearing success stories, congrats and best of luck to you. I don’t know if your test was for a job or something else, but we wish you the best in whatever it is!

  48. jenp Says:

    I was 10 days clean when my doctor sprung a blood draw to check for drugs. I have a history of smoking weed which she knows about. She ordered five vials worth! What could that be about? I am on some meds that need to show up but that is not what they were testing for. Just illegal drugs. Will I pass?

  49. Lotus Says:

    That’s lame! You shouldn’t have a problem passing at all. Blood test only detects about 7 days out at the maximum.

  50. rastadreads Says:

    I been stop smoking since last month around the 19th on the 21st I hit maybe one or two hits……i drunk certo last night and just now I have a drug test at 9 will I pass it…..I used it twice since last night drink

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