Drug Test FAQ

My guide to cheating drug tests has become one of the most popular articles on SC. Here are some common questions we get regarding drug tests, and the answers to them!

I have been clean 2 weeks, what are my chances of passing a drug test for THC?
Depends. If you are an athlete with low body fat and regularly exercise, you have a good chance. If you’re an average person (normal or more-than-average body fat) but only smoke once or twice a week you’ve also got a good chance. You can improve your chances by diluting your urine and supplementing with creatine/B12. Even a heavy smoker will often pass with 2 weeks clean and dilution. It’s just not a guarantee.

Do any drug tests test for gender?
No, neither a panel/EMIT test, a radioimmunoassay test, nor a GC/MS will ever test for gender, DNA, age, or anything other than presence of drugs and legitimacy (meaning if it’s real or not). Checking for DNA or those types of things without permission would be a huge violation of privacy and your medical rights.

Does a drug test check for temperature?
Yes, in almost all instances drug tests will include temperature tests. It is normally going fail you if you’re above 99˚F (37.2˚C) or below 96˚F (35.5˚C). So try to keep your urine at body temperature – that is 98.6˚F (37˚C).

Do urine cleansers or detox kits work? Which one should I buy?
No, they do not work and you should not buy them. They are a scam that just gives you some basic supplements (creatine and B12) and tell you to drink a bunch of water. Instead, dilute yourself by buying your own supplements for cheap and drinking a bunch of water. Or you can substitute urine and have a clean friend pee for you or buy synthetic urine to use.

Will a (5/7/9/10/11/12) panel test detect synthetic urine?
No, assuming it is good, modern synthetic stuff. They only test for temperature, presence of drugs, and presence of urea in some states (Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, West Virginia, California, Ohio, and Canada). Synthetic urine is specifically designed to beat panel tests, however if a test gets sent to a lab it could fail.

Will a lab test detect synthetic urine?
No, however you have to make sure it is formulated to account for pH balance, uric acid, and creatine. The most popular option is QuickFix Plus, and I have heard from a number of reliable sources that it works great.

Can a test fail for lack of smell or color?
Nope, it will only fail if your temperature is over two degrees hotter or colder than 98.6˚F, or if there’s no urea present. Or if it detects drugs of course. However if you’re paranoid you can take some B12 vitamin before your test to give your urine a yellow hue.

How long does it take to pass a drug test for THC?
It depends on a number of factors. For the average smoker – someone who takes a few hits nearly every day – you can refer to the chart below. Keep in mind, this is just my estimation of your chance of passing naturally without any dilution or effort into getting clean (in fancy chart format). If you dilute your urine and take measures to expel the THC beforehand (by exercising and such) you can significantly improve your rate of success.
graph
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Will synthetic weed show up on a drug test?
That depends on the test. Most panel tests will not catch fake weed products. This includes the banned JWH series and so forth. But more and more tests are including synthetic THC, and a GC/MS would easily pick it up. The best advice (besides not using them) is to simply avoid the banned and well-known substances and opt for the more obscure alternatives. This obviously opens yourself up to the danger of unknown reactions and so forth, so proceed with great caution.

How long will urine last stored?
Room temp – maybe 8 hours or so max, realistically a few hours
Refrigerated – about a month
Frozen – a year or more

Will my employer perform a GC/MS, and if not what type of test will they administer?
Sometimes an employer will simply give you a panel test. These are the little cups that have a strip on them that tell you if you pass or fail. These are both the easiest to trick and the most unreliable. Often times they’ll give you a “lab test,” which involves physically traveling to a laboratory where they’ll administer a slightly more elaborate test. The lab will check for temperature, presence of creatine, pH balance, and adulterants. The best way to cheat a lab test is to dilute or substitute synthetic/clean urine.

GC/MS tests are almost never performed for the average person. You pretty much only see these for a security clearance or something important like that. They’re too expensive for most places. If anything a GC/MS will simply be used to “confirm” a positive (failed) test result.
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What’s the best way to substitute urine?
Some people like to use a condom since they’re thin and transmit heat easily. Plus, girls can put them inside themselves to keep it the perfect temperature. However I don’t recommend that because it would be catastrophic if the condom broke.

Here’s my suggested method: Get a little bottle with a secure lid (like a 5 Hour Energy bottle) and make sure it’s perfectly clean. Put your substitute urine in there (either synthetic or clean from a friend) and wrap it with a hand-warmer. Keep a thermometer in there to make sure it stays between 96˚ and 99˚F (or 35.5˚ to 37˚C). This is an easy method as long as nobody is watching. You can also spend money on a whizzinator though I don’t think that’s necessary.
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Will my drug test look for alcohol or cigarettes?
Unless your test is for insurance purposes, normally it will not. Sometimes for probation on a DUI, underage drinking or “Minor in Possession” they will test for alcohol but it is a very crappy test and you can literally drink the night before and still pass. There’s a separate test (the EtG test) specifically for alcohol that can go back 72 hours and you’d know if they were using that one.

My take home test gave me a very faint line, did I fail?
No, any line no matter how faint on your take-home test means you passed the test. It’s counter-intuitive, I know. As long as it shows up you’re good. If it’s blank then it means you’ve failed the test.

Is there any way to beat a hair test?
Now I’m not absolutely sure on this, but there is new evidence that suggests using hair relaxers can help pass a hair test significantly. Something like 95% of the THC was mitigated in some experiments. Other than that, no.

How long should I work out before the test?
Any fat you can burn off in the weeks before your test is great. Try to sweat out as much of the fat as you can (meaning lots of cardio), then about 2-3 days before your test stop working out and load up on fat. This will help remove the fat-laden THC from your body and then mix in clean fat to reduce the concentration. Combine this with dilution and it will work wonders!
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Which drugs will not show up on a drug test (urine)?
Keep in mind the following could result in false positives, and you could always just get faulty tests, but these drugs should not trip your standard panel drug test:

  • Ketamine*
  • Tramadol*
  • Fentanyl*
  • Muscle relaxers (Carisoprodol, Cyclobenzaprine, etc)*
  • MDMA*
  • LSD
  • Mushrooms
  • Mescaline (Peyote, Peruvian Torch, San Pedro, etc)
  • Kratom
  • DXM
  • Various synthetic cannabinoids (avoid the banned ones like JWH-018)
  • Nitrous
  • Research chemicals (2c-*, DO*, *-NBOMe, etc)
  • Tobacco

*The marked drugs WILL show up on a lab test, but the rest will pass.
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Which legal drugs can false positive for illegal drugs?
Keep in mind I’ve never heard any success stories of people using the “false positive” excuse to explain a bad result. But these are known to false positive, and you should avoid them before a test if you’re trying to trick one:

  • Any cough syrup – DXM or dextromethorphan is an opioid agonist, and it can confuse a test into thinking you have opiate metabolites in your urine.
  • Allergy medicine – Anything with pseudoephedrine or any -ephedrine can trip a test for amphetamine or MDMA usage. Allergy meds also commonly have DXM as well.
  • OTC or prescription Stimulants – It should probably go without saying that things like Adderall (amphetamine salts) would trip a test for amphetamine, but now it’s said. No excuses.
  • “Legal weed” blends (or synthetic cannabinoids) – Ever since the K2 and Spice craze of 2010, more tests have been including these drugs in their line-up. They will show up under THC.
  • Hemp oil, hemp seeds and poppy seeds.

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If you have a question of your own, make sure it isn’t answered already on this page (ctrl+f to help you find what you need). If not, comment there or email me at lotus@stonerculture.com and I’ll answer as soon as I can!

Lotus Vaporizer: Two Year Update

In January of 2012 I received a humble looking hand-held vaporizer named the “Lotus“. It didn’t look like much – just a simple body resembling that of a normal spoon pipe, and an interesting cap with a nickel heating pad. After the trial runs, I wrote a glowing review and praised the Lotus for being cost effective, durable, ergonomic and just all-around good. I predicted the Lotus would last a lifetime if left to its own devices, since the design is so simple and sturdy. Let’s take a look back on how this device has actually fared over the last two years.

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Donate!

We finally have a handy donation button that you will notice on the right hand side of your screen. If you have found any of this information useful or interesting, please consider helping us out. As you might have noticed there are no advertisers on Stoner Culture, and there is no plugging or shilling of any products. We feel that without the distraction of sponsor demands and advertising rules we are able to provide much more objective and helpful content (not that we haven’t considered it).

Thanks for reading and I hope you have found something entertaining or useful on our site. Of course, if you’re broke and you’d just like to say hi, feel free to shoot me an email at lotus@stonerculture.com I’d be happy to hear from ya.

Lotus

What Happens When You Get Arrested for Weed?

I’ll tell you. But first, a little back-story:

Awhile back, I was pulled over for minor traffic infraction and subsequently arrested for possessing a (fairly small) amount of marijuana, a grinder and a scale. I also had in my possession anti-psychotic pills, and a single .5 mg alprazolam. I was taken to jail and charged in one of the most strict, law-and-order counties, in a notoriously conservative state. Needless to say, this was a pretty open-and-shut case, and I didn’t stand much chance.

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Successfully Store, Transport and Ship Drugs

Storing weed is another of those forgettably simple tasks that can cause anxiety in the inexperienced cannabis enthusiast. Transporting and shipping weed is a process that can cause anxiety for any level of user. Both storage and transportation can be important to your legal safety as well as to the continued potency of your drugs, and they’re both rife with myths and misunderstandings. Let’s sort through this mess and try to clean it up.
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Updated Legal Advice

This has been updated with lots of new information relating to Supreme Court rulings. It had been neglected since 08, so it was due for a freshening up! All credit goes to VladTemplar for originally writing this.

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So you want to know the state of the law eh? Then listen up.

NOTICE – Miranda has changed, scroll down to “The most important words you may ever say”

Disclaimer: This document gives legal opinions not legal advice and nothing said in this document is to be taken as advice given in counsel. These opinions are purely informational in purpose and intent and in no way create any kind of contract for legal services between you and anyone at Stoner Culture, nor any member of the website, and most assuredly not with the author of this writing. This information is never to be considered a substitute for the advice and guidance of a licensed attorney. You are responsible for your own legal future.
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Ever Wanted an Easy Way to Determine Candyflipping Dosage/Timing?

Use this handy dosing spreadsheet made by the friendly mitztronic over at TCC! Play with the variables in the top-left area to get different results and figure out what will work best for you. Keep in mind this is of course a very basic and rough guideline, and not something you should put infinite faith into. If you’re on a Mac or don’t have Office on your PC I recommend downloading something like OpenOffice to use this resource.

A 1938 Marihuana Identification Guide

DOWNLOAD IT HERE: Marihuana_Identification_1938

An awesome dude on a forum I frequent was kind enough to share this gem with the world. Bit of backstory – before the DEA was even a wet dream in Nixon’s young mind, the US Govt established the Federal Bureau of Narcotics to combat the growing epidemic of cannabis use. In 1937, marijuana possession or transfer was first made illegal at the federal level, except for in medical situations. So shortly thereafter, they published this document to help the first interdiction officers combat the evil marijuana plant. Here’s a couple excerpts from the thing if you’re afraid to download a 6 mb pdf:

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“Searcher No Searching!” Ok, now what?

This new Flex Your Rights video explores an argument I’ve seen over and over throughout the internet. Asserting your rights is all candy and dandelions when it works, but in the real world it isn’t necessarily a straight-forward scenario. And honestly, this is not a perfect video, but certainly worth a watch. A major point I’d like to note, however, that could cause some potential confusion – when a police officer calls in a K9 unit, they will have a maximum detention time that they can wait for it. It’s usually a pretty long while – 25 minutes or so – but you aren’t just free to go if they don’t have PC. And unfortunately you’ll likely be handcuffed on the side of an uncomfortable highway. Yay!

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Happy 420, Internet!

Just got back from the Marley Fest on Auditorium shores, downtown Austin. Checked out the unveiling of the new Willie Nelson statue as well! Enjoy these shitty cell-phone pics of my endeavors:

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